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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23418013">corde credere tantum</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWriteLove/pseuds/milessqueak'>milessqueak (IWriteLove)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fallout: New Vegas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I'll add more tags as we continue, M/M, Multi, Slow Build, With a Dash of College AU and Coffee Shop AU but not really</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:07:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,860</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23418013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWriteLove/pseuds/milessqueak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The stars may deceive you,<br/>May vanish and leave you<br/>Be smart.</p>
<p>Only trust your heart</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Male Courier/Arcade Gannon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. iustus in tempore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title of the Fic translates to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oUHZEO7aI0">"Only Trust Your Heart"</a><br/>[<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NksYhOCXoM8">Song For This Chapter</a>] Translates to "Just In Time"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>JJ Peterson doesn’t know what to do with himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s standing at the cafe counter, idly chewing on the end of a pen, eyes glazed over and watching the hustle and bustle on the other side of the windows. It’s a busy Monday afternoon - the holidays creeping up on everyone slowly, insidiously - and it’s snowy and cold, but everyone’s got hot chocolates and hot coffees, scarves and heavy wool hats, so little attention is being paid to Graham and Co. Coffee House. He leans over the counter space a little more, pouting slightly with the pen hanging from his mouth, before a shuffle behind him gets his attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y’know, if you didn’t look so pitiful, maybe we’d get customers coming in,” the man says, arms full of pre-bagged, pre-ground coffee beans, face scrunched up in concentration as he side steps around a few boxes, then frowns at JJ. “And get that pen out of your mouth, JJ, you don’t know where that’s been!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>JJ mirrors the frown, pulling the pen from his mouth and dropping it into the front pocket of his apron, spinning to face the man once he’s on the other side of him. “First off, it’s my pen, so I know where it’s been. And second off, I don’t look pitiful! I look bored! There’s a difference, Dallas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas turns to JJ again once he gets to the shelf full of coffee, unamused. “Okay, stop looking bored, then.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I wouldn’t look bored if someone would come in here and order a coffee. Talk to me. Something.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Am I not good enough company for you?” Dallas asks, putting the last bag on the shelf and feigning hurt - hand on his chest like a Southern belle and everything. “JJ-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>JJ rolls his eyes, tempted to pull the tooth-destroyed cap off his pen just to throw it at him (but then he’d have nothing to chew on later). “You’re spending most of your time in the back sorting stock because your brother got mad at us about how unorganized it is.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Really, Joshua should have known better hiring both of us,” Dallas says, then grins, passing behind JJ to head back to the back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’ve been best friends for as long as JJ can remember - early elementary school, at least. Dallas grew up down the street from each him, four houses and a cross street apart, just close enough that Dallas could sneak out whenever to come over and JJ’s mom wouldn’t have a small heart attack about him walking alone. It wasn’t like they were in the same class in school, or even that their parents were friends (JJ shudders to think of what kind of things his mom would have to say about the way Dallas’s parents always acted), and neither of them could really remember how they became friends in the first place. (“It’s gotta be when you’d ride your skateboard up and down the street, and I used to think you were so cool, because my mom would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> let me have a skateboard,” JJ says, full of confidence. “Are you sure it wasn’t because you left your favorite jacket in the driveway of my house, and then cornered me the next day at school, demanding it to be given back?” Dallas asks, eyebrow cocked.) </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But JJ’s legitimately never known anyone as truly amazing as Dallas - always knowing what to say, kind and thoughtful, enthusiastic about every one of JJ’s adventures.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well. Maybe not </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ turns his head to watch him from the corner of his eye, then straightens up quickly when he hears the door to the cafe open, putting on his best customer service smile. “Hi, welcome to Graham and Co!” he says cheerfully, watching the man brush a dusting of snow out of his hair, brow pulled into a frown as he grumbles to himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s handsome, JJ will give him that - tall, broad shoulders, green eyes and hair like spun gold. His glasses start fogging up from the temperature change in the shop, so he pulls them off, squinting at the menu as he takes a few steps forward. “Uh. C-Can I just get a black coffee?” he says, finally putting his glasses back on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ already has the cup out, grinning like he’s ready to tease this poor man. Joshua’s gotten onto him ten separate times for making fun of the customers, but Joshua’s not here, and Dallas won’t tell. “Black coffee?” he asks, looking up at the man. “I thought only the soulless drank their coffee black.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The man flushes - face a dark red almost immediately. “Well, it’s better for you than the alternative.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“The alternative being…?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Some concoction that’s more sugar than coffee,” the man says, still eying the menu. “Which. Looks like that’s ninety percent of what’s served here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ scribbles shorthand onto the cup. “Hey, some of those don’t have coffee, in our defense!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“That’s somehow even worse.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“And besides, isn’t caffeine a drug, technically?” JJ asks, eyebrows quirked. “Like, a stimulant?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The man bristles, his face still red. “W-Well, yeah, but sugar might as well be a drug, too. You can be addicted.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>JJ grins. “Can you go a day without coffee?” he asks him, and the man deflates in defeat, not bothering to answer the question. JJ grins more. “Anyway, can I get the name for your cup?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Arcade,” the man - Arcade - says, looking everywhere but directly in JJ’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ scribbles it onto the cup. “That’s an unusual name,” he says, glancing up at him. “Where’d your parents come up with it?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I don’t know, but at least you didn’t make some Mario joke,” Arcade says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mario didn’t have arcade machines… did it?” he asks. Arcade just shrugs. JJ goes to put fresh hot coffee into the cup, then puts the lid on it, sliding it carefully across the counter toward Arcade. “Next time, let me make you something that doesn’t taste like death,” he says, then flashes him that smile that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> can make people give in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade flushes, taking the cup of coffee from JJ. “S-Sure,” he says awkwardly, handing over a couple of bills. He squints at the name tag hanging off JJ’s apron, then fidgets. “Thanks, JJ…” he mumbles and turns to leave. JJ watches him, subconsciously smoothing the bills in his hands, then looks away once the bell above the door jingles. He opens the register, puts the bills in and takes the change out, dumping it into the tip jar, then sighs, pulling his pen back out of his apron.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who was that you were flirting with?” Dallas asks, coming back through with another armful of stuff - gifts and snacks, this time. “Do you know him?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Mm. Nope,” JJ says absently, feeling his face go hot. “But he was cute.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Dallas chuckles, grinning from ear to ear. “You’re so lucky Joshua isn’t working today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ chews on his pen again, staring at the door where Arcade had been, and sighs dreamily. “Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ pushes the front door of his house open, waving to Dallas as he heads inside, letting out a heavy sigh and kicking his snow-covered boots off. “Mom, I’m home!” he calls out, the sound of a vintage record playing greeting him in return. The house smells like roasted potatoes and chicken, and his stomach growls. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good ol’ mom.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome home Joey!” Rebecca says cheerfully, coming around the corner to see him, her hair pulled back into a messy, curly bun. She’s still got her work clothes on, dirt wiped down her jeans. “How was work? How’s Dallas and his brother?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Joshua didn’t work today,” JJ says, already smiling. His mom’s cheerfulness has always been contagious. He gives her a kiss on the cheek in return. “Dallas is good. Work was okay. It got really slow after lunch, though.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>His mom smiles, heading into the kitchen to plate him some food, humming quietly to the music. JJ recognizes Dean Martin’s voice immediately. “I’m glad to hear that. I ate a little while ago, but I saved you some. And Dallas, for tomorrow.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>JJ smiles. “Thanks, mom. I’ll take that to him tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” She hands him the plate, then presses another kiss to his cheek. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How was work for you?” he asks, scooping potatoes onto his fork and shoving them into his mouth. He takes a seat at the bar on the other side of the kitchen sink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sighs, taking down a tupperware container and starting to spoon the leftovers into it. “Tiring. Someone left the greenhouse door open and nearly killed all the poinsettias. We’ve been having such trouble getting them to grow in the first place, it was really upsetting.” JJ hums around his potatoes. “And then, Hannah ripped open a bag of compost on one of the tables and we had to clean it up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That explains all the dirt on your jeans.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Rebecca pauses, then looks down at her clothes, groaning quietly. “I thought I got it all off.” He chuckles. “Anyway, I love being around plants, but I’m starting to think the people are what’s bothering me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ hums, pushing a chunk of chicken around on the plate. “Trade you,” he says, then pauses. “Ah, well, maybe not. I had this one customer that I wouldn’t mind seeing again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looks up from the sink, where she’s rinsing dishes. “Oh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He feels his face go hot, glancing away and shoving another forkful of potatoes into his mouth to avoid answering. “Mhm.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“He just came in for a cup of black coffee,” JJ says, swallowing down his bite. Rebecca dumps whatever potatoes wouldn’t fit in the container on his plate. “I don’t know anything else. He was nice to look at.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Rebecca smiles. “Name?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Mm. You won’t believe me,” JJ tells her. “I almost didn’t believe him.” She stares at him expectedly, so he sighs. “Arcade.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s unusual.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s what I said!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rebecca chuckles, putting a strip of colored masking tape on the top of the container and writing Dallas’s name on it in a sharpie. “Well, it’s good you’re enjoying your job, at least,” she says, putting it into the fridge and turning to smile at him. JJ can see the resemblance just like this - the eyes, the smile, the cheekbones. It’s no wonder everyone says he’s the spitting image of his mother. “I’m happy for you. And Dallas, too. He needs to come over to see us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He said he would have come over tonight, but Joshua was making pot roast, and he didn’t want to miss it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She chuckles softly at that. From the living room, the record switches off, and she tsks, hands on her hips. “I guess that’s my cue to go ahead and get to bed,” she says, sighing softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ finishes his food - finally - and hums. “I’ll clean up the rest of the dishes,” he tells her, smiling. “It’s the least I can do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” she says softly. She seems older, for a moment, but JJ blinks and it’s gone. “Good night, Joey, love you.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Love you too, mom,” he says, kissing her cheek again. “Sleep well.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>She walks off to her room, and JJ lingers at the bar for a moment, before getting up and going to turn the record player off. There’s a medication bottle on the coffee table, and JJ picks it up, turning it over. Her pain meds. He shakes the bottle - it’s got a few pills left, but not a lot. He frowns - she hasn’t mentioned anything about her arthritis acting up again. JJ sighs, setting it back down and going back to the kitchen, taking his plate and setting it into the sink, starting to wash the dishes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spaces out while he does - thinking about Dallas and Joshua’s endless struggle between rent for their apartment, keeping the cafe straightened out, and still trying to wrestle with their parents - legally. JJ doesn’t envy them, not at all. His dad might be gone, out of the picture, but at least he has his mom, and at least his mom isn’t like their parents. It’s amazing Joshua and Dallas turned out the way they did, considering their circumstances growing up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then his mind wanders to his mom - how she keeps a strong face, but JJ knows how much she misses his dad, and how much she wears herself thin keeping everything together for them, and how she won’t tell him when her health is getting worse. He dries a plate and puts it away, thinking about a few months ago when she got the flu and almost ended up in the hospital, and decides he needs to stop thinking about this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ finishes everything, drying up around the sink and then turning the light off, heading to his room. He goes through his usual routine, then falls into bed, letting out a long sigh and closing his eyes, exhaustion finally catching up to him with his head on his pillows. At least he can count on seeing Dallas tomorrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And maybe Arcade.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No joke, Joshua said he’d pay you double if you clocked in today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ leans his elbows on the table, idly chewing on his straw, not really committing to a sip of his iced coffee yet. Dallas is staring at him from the other side of the table, mouth pulled into a frown. “I would but I can’t,” he says, teeth tearing a strip down the top of the straw. Dammit. “I promised Nash I’d try to help out with deliveries today, so he can at least try to get caught up in the holiday rush.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas lets out a whine, sliding his hands and arms forward and pressing his face into the table. The shop seems slow enough today, so JJ isn’t sure why he’s complaining so bad - and he doubts that promise from Joshua was legitimate anyway. “But JJ…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll be fine. It’s not even that busy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But Joshua is driving me up the wall,” Dallas says, looking up at him again. He picks up the plastic fork and gets to work on the chicken and potatoes sitting in front of him. “You’re always a good buffer between me and him. Chris is useless.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ hums and looks out the window, watching people walk past, talking and looking through their phones. “Gee, thanks.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You know what I meant!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bell above the door jingles as someone comes in. JJ looks behind him to see who’s walking in out of habit, eyes lighting up. “Hey-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Arcade turns to look over at JJ, eyes wide and cheeks flushed (was that from the cold, or from seeing him?). “Oh, uh, are you… not working today?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ doesn’t know what to say for a moment, then feels the points of Dallas’s fork jab into the space between his shoulder blades. “Ah, no, I’m not, sorry,” he says, laughing awkwardly. “I, uh, didn’t expect to see you so soon-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-Yeah I’m uh… y’know. I was around so I thought I’d stop in,” Arcade says, mirroring JJ’s awkward laugh. “Uh, m-maybe I should come back when you’re working?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ starts to answer. “He can jump behind the counter it’s fine!” Dallas says over him. JJ swivels to stare at him, wide eyed. “My brother owns the shop, he won’t get in any trouble.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d hate to inconvenience you...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It won’t be any inconvenience-” JJ says carefully, turning back to Arcade once he realizes Dallas won’t step down. He starts to stand. “I promise I don’t mind-” JJ steps around Arcade, trying not to get too close to his personal space (but oh god he smells so nice), then goes to the back to grab an apron.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris looks up from his phone, a pile of boxes at his feet, cocking an eyebrow. “What are you doing here?” he asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ grabs his apron, putting it on and tying it in the back. “Dallas is trying to play matchmaker.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does your apron have to do with that?” Chris asks, frowning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A guy that came in yesterday came in today and - ugh, never mind,” JJ mumbles, his face going hot. “It’s too embarrassing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ heads out to the counter while Chris stares at him. Dallas is back behind the register, chattering, while Arcade stands to the side, nervously. He seems to straighten up a bit when he sees JJ. “So, uh, what are you going to make me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something better than black coffee,” JJ answers, smiling at him. Dallas’s eyes are wide as he side steps JJ, disappearing just out of sight around the corner. “Do you like chocolate? Iced coffee? Warm coffee?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade leans against the counter, watching him move between equipment. “Uh, I don’t think I’ve ever had iced coffee? I like chocolate.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ looks over at him, eyes wide. “What? Really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-Yeah…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Iced coffee it is,” he says, humming as he adds stuff into the cup, going into auto pilot mode. He can see Dallas hovering off to the side with Chris, beaming with his eyes shining. He finally comes over to Arcade, handing him the cup and a straw, smiling. “Try that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade takes it from him, squinting at it as he opens the straw. “What if I don’t like it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s on the house either way,” JJ says, grinning as he leaned over the counter on his elbows, watching Arcade. “It won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t like it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade hums, then takes a careful sip, eyes going wide. “Oh, whoa, that’s good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ feels his face go warm. “You like it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s good,” Arcade says, smiling at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And it’s more enjoyable than black coffee.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I’d say that-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bell above the door jingles and JJ looks up, glancing over at Chris and Dallas. Dallas pushes Chris out, and Chris swears under his breath, tripping over his shoes for a moment before he takes his place at the register. Arcade watches him for a moment, then looks back at JJ, his cheeks red. “I-I should go,” he says, quietly, taking another sip of his coffee. “Uh, I have somewhere to be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” JJ says softly, shifting his weight between his feet. He can feel Dallas’s eyes burrowing into his skull while Chris starts on someone’s order. “Yeah, yeah of course.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll try coming back in um, next time you work?” Arcade asks, fiddling with something on the counter. JJ can’t look away from his eyes to see what it is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Friday,” JJ tells him, looking at him with a smile, reaching back to untie his apron.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade smiles back at him. “Friday.” He half steps backward, then hums. “See you then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He properly turns, and heads out the door, bell jingling in his wake. JJ awkwardly stands there for a moment, wringing his apron in hands, before turning to head back into the back to hang it back up. Dallas is buzzing with excitement. “Oh my god, JJ-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t,” JJ mumbles, stomach still tingling with butterflies, putting his apron back up on his hook. His entire world feels tilted on its axis. “And I wasn’t flirting, before you say it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you kidding-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Peterson,” Chris says, stepping over to hand him a napkin. “You left this on the counter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ turns, taking the napkin, face scrunched up. “What?” He asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris just shrugs. “I dunno it’s got something written on it, so I didn’t want it to get thrown away,” he tells him, turning back around to go to the front.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas comes into JJ’s space, looking over his shoulder. “What is it?” JJ turns glances at him, making a face and unfolding the napkin, heart lurching into his throat. “Is that a </span>
  <em>
    <span>number</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arcade left you his </span>
  <em>
    <span>number</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Dallas yells. There’s a harsh </span>
  <em>
    <span>“shut up, Graham!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> from the front. “Oh my god, JJ he left you his number!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ stares at it in disbelief, then folds it back up and stuffs it into his pocket. “I have to go help Nash-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to text him!” Dallas says, voice still carrying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Graham, shut up!” Chris yells back at them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to help Nash, first! I’ll text him later!” JJ tells him, grabbing his coat and heading back to the table they had been sitting on. He takes the container from Dallas’s lunch and puts it into his backpack, brain frazzled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas follows him out, buzzing. “I can help you draft the text!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t need help doing this!”</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You’ve needed help before!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ pulls his hat on, ignoring him and gathering his things, pushing the door open. “I’ll do it later, I have </span>
  <em>
    <span>work</span>
  </em>
  <span> now."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m holding you to that!” Dallas yells out at him as he leaves.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. is vultus amo amor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xCcMDI_YLE">Song For This Chapter</a>] Translates to "It Looks Like Love"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>JJ drafts ten separate texts to Arcade, and sends none of them. It’s been over a week since the last time they saw each other, and JJ’s been mulling over what to say to him since. It shouldn’t be that hard - he’s sent these kinds of texts before, in less than stellar conditions, to less than great people. And from what JJ’s seen (two meetings, a total of 15 minutes, since he ended up not showing last Friday), Arcade is a nice person. He’s at least nice on the eyes, if nothing else. Some of the other people he’s talked to don’t even amount to that. Really, Arcade is a miracle in comparison.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And, he’s got the Dallas seal of approval - that’s also pretty hard to come by. Dallas hasn’t stopped bothering JJ since he got Arcade’s number, and it’s kind of endearing when it’s not incredibly annoying. “Arcade seems nice, JJ, why haven’t you texted him yet!” he says, loudly, earning a towel to the face a yell of “get back to work!” from Joshua. His brother’s intervention doesn’t curb his enthusiasm, though. JJ’s got no reprieve from the harassment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He means well,” Dani says over their daily break. Joshua’s behind the counter, taking orders, while Lily side steps around him to work on them. They’re scary when they’re working together so well like this. JJ’s kind of glad he was already out for the night. “I think he’s just excited for you, after, well… y’know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ glances away and takes a sip of his coffee, humming quietly. “Yeah, I know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani smiles. “I think you should text him. If you feel better, his name makes me think of yellow buttercups and I feel at ease.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That does, a little,” he says softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani’s got an aura to her that makes her seem like she knows anything and everything - like an endless well of wisdom that will never run out. JJ tells Dallas everything, of course, but Dani is always a good second, because her advice always feels like it’ll actually get something done. She’s into the mystical stuff, tarot cards and reading energies, things that JJ doesn’t understand but Dani believes in, so he never says a bad thing against them. The last time he was swooning and nervous over someone, Dani said he felt like Judas and made her think of a craps table. She said her sister had even less good to say about him. That should have been his first red flag - Dani’s rarely wrong. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hums and sips at her tea, smiling pleasantly and tipping her purple painted nails against her cup. “Mmm. Joshua feels tense,” she says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He and Dallas are still fighting their parents for Dallas’s old bank account,” JJ says, sipping his coffee. “Dallas doesn’t let it get to him much, but Joshua has been high strung about it for months.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani lets out a soft noise of acknowledgement. “This isn’t the best time of year for that,” she says softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shop clears out after a few moments, and Dani finishes her tea. “I should get back to work. Once the rush is over, they start getting snappy. You’ve seen them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unfortunately,” JJ laughs nervously. Dani stands and he looks down to check his phone. “I’ll let you get back to it, though. I should head out. ”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course. Tell Dallas I say hello,” she says, then goes back behind the counter, stopping to chatter with Lily for a moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ gathers his things and smiles, finishing his coffee and tossing the cup in the trash can just as Dallas pulls up outside. He pulls his coat collar as he heads out, careful of the patches of ice, before opening the door and sliding inside. “Holy shit, is it getting colder?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Probably!” Dallas laughs, hands gripping the wheel. “So, ready to get this text to Arcade drafted?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ almost jumps out of the car.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After they eat, chat with Rebecca and help clean up from dinner, they disappear into JJ’s room to hang out before Dallas has to go pick up Joshua from work. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think,” Dallas starts, spinning in JJ’s desk chair. “That you should just send him something flirty.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s laying backwards on his bed, head at the end and feet up on the wall. He looks over as Dallas talks, squinting and frowning. “Absolutely not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not! </span>
  <em>
    <span>He </span>
  </em>
  <span>was flirting with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, overt flirtation never gets you anywhere, Dallas,” JJ says, his tone confident, and goes back to staring at the blank conversation box with Arcade’s number. His fingers type out something, then he deletes it a moment later, setting his phone down on his chest. “Didn’t you try that tactic with Craig, and all it got you was a cold shoulder for three weeks?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas sputters, stopping himself suddenly on the floor. “That was different! How was I supposed to know that he was getting over a bad break up already!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ shoots him a look. “He had been talking about it for months!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was being cryptic and not very forward with it and - hey, I see what you’re doing! This isn’t about me!” Dallas says, rolling the desk chair over to him and poking in the side. “This is about </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Arcade</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ rolls his eyes. “Well, maybe I should get to know him better before I go all in on the sweet talk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What more do you need to know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All I know is that he likes black coffee, tolerates that mocha I made him, and likes chocolate. That’s it,” he answers, looking over at Dallas’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay, so?</span>
  </em>
  <span> expression. “That’s hardly grounds for romance, Dallas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha, grounds, because we work in a co-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god.” JJ sits up, knees pressed into his pillows. His phone falls into his lap. “Why don’t I just text him </span>
  <em>
    <span>hey</span>
  </em>
  <span>, or something. Y’know. Casual? Not like I want to jump his bones already?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His best friend just stares at him. “I mean, don’t you-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ ignores him, typing out a quick message. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, Arcade! This is JJ, from the coffee shop. Sorry it took so long to finally send you something. Been busy, you know how it is,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he reads as he types, then finally looks up at Dallas. “Does it have your seal of approval?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas looks blank for a moment, then shrugs. “Yeah, yeah, I guess that’s good. Not as spicy as I would have gone-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ throws a pillow at his face, then hits send on the text, shifting back on his bed so he can lay his phone flat on the sheets. “Okay, it’s sent.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do your pillows smell like pancakes?” Dallas mumbles, face pressed into the one JJ threw at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think he’ll reply?” JJ asks, not bothering to dignify Dallas’s question with a response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas is still holding JJ’s pillow, sniffing it occasionally. “Probably?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ bites at the nail on his thumb - an old habit he had more or less broken himself of. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thanks, anxiety</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “I hope so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean-” Dallas is cut off by JJ’s phone lighting up, showing one missed text. “JJ!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh god-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Open it open it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ grabs his phone off the bed and opens the text from Arcade, face hot and stomach fluttering, as Dallas squishes himself into JJ’s personal space to look down at the text himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:34pm] Oh, hey! I was wondering when you’d say something. I was kind of worried it had gotten thrown away haha.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:35pm] Hope you haven’t been too busy, though. I was wondering if you’d want to meet up and get coffee? Or something? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:35pm] There’s this cafe off 37th I thought we could go to.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Conspiring with the competition,” Dallas mutters under his breath. JJ elbows him in the side.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:36pm] Sorry that was kind of an info dump.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ tapped at the side of his phone, biting his lip. “Should I say yes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas sat back, staring at him in disbelief. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Should you?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joey James, you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> that dumb!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a legitimate question! “JJ replied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of fucking course you should say yes!” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:38pm] Hey, no worries about all the chatter, I’m kind of a double texter myself, haha.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:38pm] I’d love to get coffee with you! When were you thinking of meeting up?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:39pm] Do you have work Saturday morning?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas is on his phone, frantically typing. “You won’t in a minute.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ feels like he’s melting. “Dallas!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell him you’re free, I’ve got this!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>[8:40pm] I am! You want to meet up then?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:41pm] Sure, that sounds great!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:41pm] Awesome! :)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ types out “</span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s a date!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”, then deletes it before he can send it. Dallas is still typing frantically, and he sighs. “Joshua is still working for the next twenty minutes, Dallas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is the time of the night where he disappears into the back to do whatever it is he does back there, JJ,” Dallas replies, then grins. “Saturday morning is all yours, dear Joseph!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ rolls his eyes again and picks at his case. “Is this a date?” he asks Dallas softly, looking over at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas stares back at him, then smiles. “I’m sure it’s whatever you want it to be. Arcade seems nice, and he’s definitely cute, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> into you. At least a little.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm,” JJ hums, staring at the conversation for another moment. “Are you sure? About that last part, I mean.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“JJ, that’s coming from the man who </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> kissed you in our lifetime.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He makes a face, turning to stare daggers at Dallas. “But you </span>
  <em>
    <span>weren’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> into me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Details!” Dallas says, then his face softens. “But I’m serious, JJ. You shouldn’t be so worried. He seems to be at least somewhat into you, and he’s nice! I think that’s two steps up from what you had before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If nothing else…” Dallas moves to sit next to him properly, arm around his shoulder. “If nothing else, go have fun, and if it doesn’t work out, I’ll make sure to stockpile some moose track ice cream and movie theater butter popcorn in the apartment and you can come over and we can watch a bunch of horror b-movies and laugh that night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles. “That sounds good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas grins, like he accomplished something. “Good. Now, I should head out to go get Joshua before he loses his mind up there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both get up, heading into the entryway so Dallas can gather his things. He pulls on his boots and sighs. “Just text me when you get home safe, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Dallas says, standing up and pulling on his coat and hat. “See you around, JJ!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas heads out and JJ stands at the door, waving to him as he avoids the ice and slides into his car. JJ hums and closes the door after he pulls away, locking up and heading back to his room. He slips out of his clothes and falls into bed, sighing and staring at the ceiling for a moment, before he closes his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A date. With Arcade. A date with Arcade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then his eyes shoot open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tomorrow’s Friday.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t stress out too much, JJ.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s pacing the back room of Nash’s, chewing on his nails. There’s a low hum coming from the printer in the corner, which is still printing off labels, but JJ ignores them. “No, no, Raegan, I think I need to stress out. I think stressing out is in my best interest. Saturday is tomorrow! How is Saturday tomorrow!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because the forward passage of time lives to fuck us all?” Raegan asks out of curiosity, looking up at him from her phone. JJ doesn’t stop his pacing, so she just sighs. “Really, I don’t think you need to be so high strung and stressed. From what you and Dallas-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dallas talked to you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-told me about him, he seems cool! Very nice, very sweet. Black coffee is a little iffy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s been working for Johnson Nash and his wife Ruby for a couple of years now, helping them deliver Ruby’s homemade jams and preserves. From what Ruby tells him (every time she gets a chance to chatter away between orders) she was doing this from their basement, until Nash got tired of the orders overfilling into the kitchen, and he bought the old building that the town’s first post office used to be in. A small, comfortable place with enough room for deliveries and a store front. At first it was just Ruby and Nash - JJ was brought on after he came in and basically begged for the job to help pay for his mom’s medical bills that year - but with the added rush of business, they had managed to hire a few others to help with deliveries. Their own in-house courier system. JJ can’t say he can complain about it - extra income never hurt anyone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ puts his head in his hands, pacing intensifying. “What if I say something embarrassing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not likely.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Or dumb.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even less likely.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if he doesn’t think I’m interesting to talk to, or fun to be around, or cute?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raegan sighs, heavily. “JJ, you’re interesting, fun and cute,” she tells him, putting her phone away. “He’s going to think you’re a joy to be around, and if not, then it’s his loss.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ makes a noise that gets strangled into his throat, then the door opens. Ruby steps inside, her arms full of boxes, then sets them down on the table next to the printer. “Are y’all workin’ on getting these packages labeled up?” she asks, a smile on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes ma’am,” Raegan says, returning the smile. “We’ll have them ready to be delivered soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ruby nods. “Good. Johnson’s up there takin’ orders over the phone, poor dear. Everyone in Ogden must have called by now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ starts pulling labels from the printer, and attaching them to the correct boxes. Raegan joins him, sorting the boxes by general direction from the store. “Do you want us to make runs with these tonight?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no, Johnson is going to do deliveries tomorrow,” Ruby says. “We’ll worry about that then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Vincent will be in tomorrow,” Raegan says, grinning as Ruby steps back out of the room. “Vincent gets to deal with this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, he’ll be pleased as punch,” JJ mumbles, handing Raegan another package. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raegan hums happily. “And you won’t have to deal with this because you have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>date</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she says, almost singing it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ stuffs his head into a box full of packing peanuts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=The Better Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9:04am] im starting to regret taking your shift for you</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9:04am] chris and raegan came over last night and we were up all night watching shitty old horror movies and drinking</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9:05am] did you know beer gets worse the more you drink?</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9:05am] god how many expressos are considered too many</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[9:07am] Dallas, please drink no more than 5.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[9:07am] Also, drink water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9:08am] joshua has already shoved gatorade into my hands</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9:08am] anyway whens the date</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[9:10am] Getting ready now, please don’t call it a date, I’ve almost thrown up twice since I woke up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[9:10am] Also at 9:30.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ bites on his thumb nail again, pacing his bedroom for a moment, before stopping in front of his door-mounted mirror to look at his outfit, shaking his head, and stepping over to his closet. There’s a row of discarded shirts sitting on his bed, and he’s on his tenth one now. Everything either feels way too formal, or way too casual, and at this rate, he’s going to be late. Arcade had texted him already that he was on his way to the cafe, and JJ hadn’t made a single move to leave yet. At least his mom could drop him off before she had to run errands - he’d be </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> late if he had to walk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He groans, ruffling his hair in the middle of his room in nothing more than his binder, when there’s a knock at the door and Rebecca pokes her head in, a smile on her face. “Almost ready, Joey?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ looks over at her, groaning again. “No… What shirt should I wear? I don’t want to look too casual, because this doesn’t feel that casual, but it’s not like its a five star Gordon Ramsey experience dinner, so I don’t want to look too formal… I’m totally overthinking this, but isn’t the first impression the most important?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rebecca chuckles, stepping into his room and putting her hands on her hips, looking over the shirts on his bed, humming to herself. “Wow, how long have you been at this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“An hour…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yikes,” she laughs. “Well, I understand your nervousness. It took me two hours to decide what to wear the first time I went on a date with your dad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ pouts. “This isn’t a date, Mom… It’s just…. Getting coffee.” Rebecca turns to stare at him. “With a guy who’s really attractive to me. Who left me his phone number.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A date,” she insists, then grabs one of his nicer shirts off the bed - a dark red button up with small navy anchors on it - smiling as she hands it to him. “Just relax, JJ. If it doesn’t go well, then no harm no foul. But you’ll never know if you never try.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes the shirt from her and hums, pulling it on and sighing. “Yeah, you’re right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now, c’mon. My errands need to get done, and you’re going to be late.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They grab their coats and head out. JJ slides into the passenger’s side and sighs, taking his phone out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[9:20am] Hey, I’m heading out now! I’ll be there in a few!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[9:22am] Cool! I just got here so I’ll just sit down at a table.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[9:22am] Do you want me to order us coffee?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[9:23am] Sure! I’d like an iced mocha. No whipped cream.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ settles into his seat, leaning against the window. There’s a light snow falling, dusting the ground with white, and a fresh coating of salt on the roads to prevent the icing. Utah this time of year always looks so dreary and cold. He closes his eyes, moving his hand up to rub at them under his glasses. There was still that same, nervous rumble in his gut and his heart skipped a few beats here and there. God, he was so anxious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay… This is the right place?” Rebecca asks as she pulled up to park in one of the spots in front of the cafe. JJ looks through the front window to the sign - and catches a glance of Arcade, sitting at a table with two cups in front of him. He nods. “Okay. I’ll see you later, then? Just keep me updated on when you need a ride home?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah of course,” JJ says, unbuckling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rebecca leans over the console, pressing a kiss to his temple - a comforting, familiar gesture that sets JJ at ease, if only a little. “Have fun, Joey, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles at her and gets out, shivering a little at the cold and pulling his scarf up a little. He heads up to the door and heads in, sighing at the warmth and smell of coffee that greets him the moment he steps in. He shuffles his feet against the mat to dislodge the snow on his boots, making a sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“JJ, hey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ looks over, seeing Arcade sitting at a table, a smile on his face. He feels his stomach swoop at the sight, and he offers a small smile in return, waving a little as he walks over. “Hey, sorry you had to wait,” he says as he gets close, untangling himself from his scarf and slipping out of his coat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s no problem. I wasn’t here long,” Arcade says as JJ sits down, and JJ tells himself the red in his face is from the cold. “I got your coffee.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, thanks.” He doesn’t need the caffeine on top of his anxiety, but he takes a long sip. “I appreciate it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade hums, then glances away, shifting a little in his seat. “So…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, uh… okay… So I’m kinda bad at this,” Arcade laughs, nervously, and JJ relaxes a little, laughing softly with him. “Dating was never my forte. I haven’t done it much, if at all…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ takes another sip of his mocha. “Oh, no, we’re in the same boat. I haven’t done much dating either. So… even playing field.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh thank god,” Arcade visibly relaxes, taking a drink from his cup. “Well. Okay. What do people do on dates?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Talk about themselves. Talk about the weather.” Arcade nods and JJ grins against his straw. “Talk about their past trauma that gets way too real for the first date, and then it gets all awkward so you sit in tense silence until you both decide to part ways and then never talk to each other again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade laughs, and JJ feels his chest flutter at the sound as he takes a sip from his drink. “So is this the part where I admit my association with a para-facist military organization, then?” he asks, and JJ chokes on his coffee. “Or do I tell you I know Latin?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ coughs between his laughter, waving a hand in surrender as he composes himself. “Definitely the Latin, that sounds much more interesting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fortis fortuna adiuvat, </span>
  </em>
  <span>after all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh holy shit,” JJ says, grinning. “Wait you really know Latin? I’m a little more concerned about your first comment now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade laughs, shaking his head as he takes a sip of his coffee. “Okay, okay, no that one was a joke. But I do know Latin.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ sits back, feels himself relax a little. “Where in the world did you learn that? Isn’t Latin a dead language?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only dead to some people.” Arcade runs his thumb over the rim of his coffee cup, then hums. “I took classes in college, alongside my medical stuff. Learning about the inner workings of the human body can be kind of repetitive and mind numbing. I needed something to keep me from throwing the towel in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Medical?” JJ asks, taking another sip of his mocha, eyes focused on Arcade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade’s face goes red. “Ah- shit, I didn’t mention that first?” he asks, chuckling quietly to himself. “Yeah, I uh. I worked as an EMT for a while, but I’m a, um. Family doctor now. Out in California.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ feels like the world tilts on its axis for a moment. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “California?” he asks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m out there most of my time. I’m here in Utah to visit some friends,” he says, looking down at his coffee and taking a long sip. “Um. What about you? I’m sure you’ve got more interesting things to say than me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>California</span>
  </em>
  <span>, JJ’s brain screams, and he pushes the ice cubes in his cup around with his straw. “Oh, uh, well I’m not really that interesting. I’m twenty four, I work part time at a coffee shop, and part time doing deliveries for a local business. I live with my mom. I went to a university in Nevada for a bit, but I’m not in school anymore,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee and looking up at Arcade’s stunned face, smirking at the reaction. “What? Shocked because I’m not any more interesting than you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re only twenty four?” Arcade asks, legitimate shock in his voice. It makes JJ’s stomach churn uncomfortably. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, yeah, I am. My birthday was this past October,” he responds. “W-Why? How old did you think I was?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade sits back a little. “Not twenty four,” he says. “I-I just thought maybe you were young looking and you were closer to thirty-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why, how old are you?” JJ asks, sitting forward in his chair fidgeting nervously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thirty five.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They sit in silence for a moment, Arcade’s face somehow managing to be both sickly pale and flushed red with embarrassment, refusing to meet JJ’s eyes. JJ fidgets in his chair, picking at his straw until he tears a piece off the top. Does it matter, really? He was an adult. They were </span>
  <em>
    <span>both</span>
  </em>
  <span> adults. There was no ill intent here, and Arcade would still be leagues better than what JJ had before, anyway. JJ bites his lip, takes in a breath, then sits up straighter. “Look, I think you’re really cool,” he says, and it makes Arcade jump, before he glances up at him from his coffee, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Age be damned, I’d like to see you more. If, um, I could, I mean.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade blinks blankly at him for a moment, then smiles - almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>shy -</span>
  </em>
  <span> and chuckles softly. “Yeah, I’d like to see you more if I could, too.” JJ feels his stomach erupt into butterflies and his heart lodges into his throat. “I think that’d be cool.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Cool</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” JJ echoes teasingly, grinning. “Oh, so suave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade rolls his eyes, a smile on his face, and finishes his coffee. “This is my first cup of coffee, give me a break.” JJ chuckles and sips at his drink. “I’ve got a few more hours to kill before I’ve got to meet up with someone, so I’m going to go get another cup. Do you want another mocha?”</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<span><br/>
</span>
  <span>JJ smiles and shakes his cup gently. “Sure, I won’t turn down free coffee,” he says. Arcade chuckles to himself as he stands, straightening his shirt and jeans and going over to the counter. JJ’s eyes follow him, and he hums, pulling his phone out to check his messages.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=The Better Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9:24am] joshua cut me off from the expresso, so dont worry</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9:31am] o fuck youre at your date!!!!</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9:31am] i want a 12 pt, double spaced times new roman report later about it, joseph!!!!</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[9:55am] Don’t worry, I’ll give you the rundown later. Put your phone away before your brother sees!!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[9456am] (￣^￣ )ゞ</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ snorts and locks his phone again, putting it back into his pocket and looking back over toward Arcade, still standing at the counter, looking into the glass display of baked goods, pointing and talking to the barista behind the counter about something. It’s far too interesting to watch him just </span>
  <em>
    <span>exist</span>
  </em>
  <span>, JJ decides, and looks down at the melting ice in his cup just as he sees Arcade turn back toward their table. “They’re working on yours. But they had muffins, and they looked pretty good, so I got us a couple.” He sets down two muffins and his fresh cup of coffee, looking a little red. “Um, since it’s breakfast time but we aren’t getting real breakfast.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, thanks,” JJ takes it and smiles. “What is it? Banana nut?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I got blueberry, if you’d rather have that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I love banana nut, no worries,” he says, taking a bite and humming happily. “But you know, there is this really good breakfast place nearby that I used to go to with Dallas. If, um, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to get breakfast.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade smiles against his muffin, before he takes a bite. “Mmm. I’d be down to do that. When do you want to do this again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ picks a walnut off and eats it, humming quietly. “I’m free again next weekend? How much longer are you in Utah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Another couple of weeks.” There’s a shout of his name from the counter and he turns, pushing his chair back to get up. “One second,” he tells him, going to grab JJ’s mocha for him and coming back, setting it down in front of him. “But next weekend works.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles. “Awesome,” he says. “Um. Same time? Is that okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s perfect,” Arcade says. “Just text me your address and I’ll pick you up that morning.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” JJ says softly, face going hot. When was the last time someone picked him up to go on a date? “Okay. Yeah, cool, that works.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade goes to take another bite of his muffin, when his phone goes off in his pocket. He digs it out of his coat and opens the screen, making a face. “Ah, shit I thought I had more time to kill, but I don’t,” he mumbles, texting whoever it was back and scooting to stand up. “Sorry, I have to go, JJ.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ stood with him. “Oh, no it’s okay! You don’t have to apologize!” he tells him. “We’ll meet up again next weekend, no problem!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade smiles at him while he pulls on his coat and JJ, honest to God, feels like he’s floating. “Yeah, we’ll meet up next weekend. I had fun, JJ.” He rests his hand on JJ’s arm and he feels fireworks. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, talk to you later. I had fun, too,” JJ says back, almost starstruck, standing awkwardly by the table as he watches Arcade take a left outside of the cafe, disappearing into the thin crowd starting to gather outside. He smiles to himself, then sinks back into his chair, covering his face and laughing quietly, the excitement and joy bubbling up in his chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was already so into Arcade.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[12:45pm] Hey! Just wanted to say it was a lot of fun today.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[12:46pm] I can’t wait until we can do it again :)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>dallas graham belongs to my <a href="https://twitter.com/danasaurusr">best friend!</a><br/>all other ocs are mine<br/>beta'd by my friend <a href="https://twitter.com/ambsthom">amber!</a></p>
<p>[<a href="https://twitter.com/milessqueak">main twitter</a>] [<a href="https://twitter.com/c0uriers1x">fallout twitter</a>]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. a puero usque ad stultum</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWtAbBSxbhI">Song For This Chapter</a>] Translates to "Young and Foolish"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>JJ’s organizing the coffee wall Monday morning when Dallas slides up next to him, armful of bags of coffee grounds, and grinning like the cat that got the cream. “So…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So?” JJ asks, face already going warm as he rearranges pre-packaged coffee bags and the small souvenirs they put up for the holiday season. They hadn't been able to talk all weekend, between JJ helping his mom with stuff around the house in preparation for Thanksgiving and Dallas working under the strict watchful eye of his brother, and he could practically hear feel him vibrating out of his skin to hear all the juicy (</span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah right</span>
  </em>
  <span>) details of what had went down on Saturday with Arcade. He had been kind of dreading it - Dallas always meant well, but he could be… a little overbearing. Sometimes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, how did Saturday go, dear Joey?” Dallas asks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ looks over at him, and he hasn’t moved - still staring at him with a grin, a terrifying gleam in his eyes. He takes one of the bags from his arms, and goes up on his tiptoes to put it on the top shelf above his head. “It went alright.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas leans a little closer to him, still grinning devilishly. “How is he in bed?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ makes a noise like an animal that had gotten caught in a trap at the question, his heart lurching into his throat at the idea, and drops the bag right on Dallas’s head, ignoring the pained sound he makes. “I didn’t sleep with him, Dallas Ryan!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ow, my head-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why would that be your go to-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are y’all okay over there?” Lily asks from the front counter, her voice uninterested. JJ looks over at her and she’s looking at them from her phone, a smirk on her face. “Did Dallas say something about you getting laid?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas opens his mouth, and JJ covers it with his hand. “No, he didn’t, and you shouldn’t be asking that! You’re too young!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lily looks offended, standing up straighter from the counter. “I’m eighteen-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And anyway, it was just a date! We just got coffee and talked and then he had to go! That’s it!” JJ tells them both, before finally letting the wiggling Dallas go. “Nothing else happened, thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas uses the back of his sleeve to rub at his mouth, frowning. “Aw, where’s the fun in tha-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door to the shop almost slams open and they all fall silent. Joshua stands momentarily in the doorway, a dark cloud hanging heavy around him as he shakes the snow from his hat and stomps his snow-covered boots against the mat, muttering a curse under his breath. “Why are you just standing around? Why don’t you actually get some fucking work done?” he snaps, and heads toward the back.  A slam of the office door follows them, and Lily nervously looks between JJ and Dallas, before she grabs her clipboard off the pastry display and scurries off to the stockroom to do inventory.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yikes,” JJ says quietly, turning to look at Dallas - who’s just staring wistfully toward the back, eyes glazed over. “Dallas?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s been like this all weekend,” Dallas tells him, putting the bags of coffee away without fanfare. JJ’s heart sinks and he fidgets awkwardly, joining him in organizing. “He won’t tell me why, just says it’s something about mom and dad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas hums quietly. “He got a call Saturday afternoon in the middle of our shift and I could hear him yelling from the stockroom.” He grabs the empty box to break it down, and JJ thinks he looks a lot older than he should - definitely a lot older than twenty-five. Something in his stomach churns uncomfortably at the thought. Dallas tosses the flattened box behind the counter, then perks up and flashes JJ a smile. “But don’t worry! He’s been going at this for a while, so he’s probably just frustrated. We’ll be good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think he’ll still want to come over on Thursday?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course! We wouldn’t miss Rebecca Peterson’s cooking!” Dallas grins, then claps JJ on the back, mischief in his eyes. “So… Arcade…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ isn’t sure if he should let Dallas change the subject like that, but he gives in. Lily wanders back out, carrying an armful of supplies that Dallas moves to take while JJ talks. “It went good. We got coffee, and talked. He’s kind of a smartass, but he’s got a good sense of humor. He’s a doctor, he’s from California, but he was just out here for a few weeks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What in the world is there to do in Ogden for a doctor?” Dallas asks, scrunching his nose up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was visiting friends,” JJ tells him, playfully kicking at him with a smile. He lets the conversation lull to silence until Lily disappears into the stockroom again, then taps the toe of his shoe against the linoleum flooring while Dallas rearranges stuff in the fridge. “He’s, um… also thirty five?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas drops the mostly empty jug of milk on the ground and swivels to stare wide eyed at him, mouth wide open. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>WHAT?!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he practically yells. JJ moves to shush him, not wanting either of them to be on Joshua’s bad side right now, while Lily pokes her head back out in curiosity. “He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>thirty five</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!” Dallas whispers harshly, leaning in closer to JJ. “JJ! What the fuck!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t know until he told me-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s eleven years older than you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know but-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh god, he’s a cradle robber!” Dallas stands back, throwing his hands up. “What’s with you and older men, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Joey</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ bristles at that and takes a half step back from his best friend, leaning over to grab the jug off the floor. “I don’t have a thing for older men, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dallas</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he says - admittedly a little cold - and moves to throw the plastic away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s starting to look like a pattern,” Dallas says, crossing his arms. JJ glances at the digital clock. Five more minutes until Joshua was supposed to officially clock in - and JJ was supposed to officially clock out. “This isn’t anything like </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Nevada Incident</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We agreed not to talk about that-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-but I’m your best friend! I can be concerned!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ turns and crosses his arms, mirroring Dallas. “You’re the one who was pushing me to chase after Arcade in the first place!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yeah, and I don’t regret that,” Dallas tells him. “But I can be supportive and concerned that my best friend, </span>
  <em>
    <span>who’s only twenty four</span>
  </em>
  <span>, is seeing a man who was in </span>
  <em>
    <span>middle school</span>
  </em>
  <span> when he was born.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ opens his mouth to respond just as the door to the back office opens. Dallas stands up straighter and turns to face Joshua as he walks up to the front, already tying his apron behind his back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll talk later,” JJ says, but his heart isn’t in it - he’d rather not continue this conversation. “I’ll see you Wednesday.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas makes a face and watches JJ move to the back to hang up his apron and grab his things, eyes following him the entire way out the door.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:39pm] [sent an attachment via Maps]</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:39pm] There’s my address! Sorry I didn’t send it earlier.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:39pm] Better late than never haha</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:40pm] No worries! But thanks!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:40pm] See you Saturday, JJ :)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Vincent wrinkles his nose as he walks into the back room of Nash’s, looking between JJ and Raegan. “Ugh, why does it feel like a funeral is going on in here? What the fuck happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ sulks further into his pile of bubble wrap and pulls his hoodie up over his nose. It’s only been a day since his minor argument with Dallas, but it still sits in his stomach wrong - neither of them had taken any initiative to text and make up last night, and JJ had yet to see anything come through this morning. It felt awful, and part of him was still sore from Dallas bringing up what they had dubbed “The Nevada Incident”, too. Everything about it just </span>
  <em>
    <span>sucked</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Him and Dallas got into an argument yesterday,” Raegan supplies, still casting him concerned glances between her packaging. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t think you two were capable of disagreeing,” Vincent says, unhelpfully, moving to grab a few finished packages off the table. “What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ sinks further into his hoodie. “He just pushed the wrong buttons,” he mumbles, avoiding their eyes - the pity party he was throwing was bad enough when he was relaying it to just Raegan. “And it just sucks because we haven’t made up yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vincent hums to himself as he stacks his boxes, and leaves the room again. Raegan’s eyes follow him out, and she sighs. “Helpful as ever, Watts,” she mutters to herself. “I know this sucks, JJ, but cheer up. You two have been friends since you were in pre-K. A guy isn’t going to break you two apart.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wants to argue </span>
  <em>
    <span>“one almost did’</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he bites his tongue. “Yeah…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You two are going to be fine.” Raegan rips the packing tape to finish sealing up the box she’s working on, then sets it on the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ watches her for a moment, then decides he’s done sulking for now, pushing himself up off the pile of bubble wrap and standing. He readjusts his hoodie as Vincent walks back in, phone in hand. “Hey, Raegan, question.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shoot,” she says, not turning to face him from where she’s beginning to package another box.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you and Jess getting the alcohol, or do Chris and I need to bring it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raegan wrinkles her nose and turns to face him. “Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For the New Year’s party?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ grabs an empty box. “New Year’s party?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raegan’s face lights up. “Oh, we are. Chris said you two would handle the food,” she tells him, then turns to JJ as Vincent leaves again, typing furiously on his phone. “And yeah, Jessie and I are throwing a New Year’s party at our place this year. Nothing crazy, just a little get together with our friends, but we thought it’d be nice. Did Chris not mention it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t worked with him in a couple of weeks, honestly,” JJ admits. “Different schedules.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah,” Raegan says, then grins. “Well, we’re planning a little far ahead, honestly. We’re going to send out official invites like, the week before Christmas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ chuckles. “Oh, will I have to RSVP?” he jokes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raegan smiles back at him. “Only if you want to be on the guest list.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ laughs and passes a box to her to label. “Anything you guys need me to bring?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your charming personality,” she tells him. “But seriously, probably like. Snacks or something. Chris and Vincent are in charge of actual food, Jessie and I have the alcoholic drinks, and Dani and Lily defaulted to non-alcoholic, since Dani doesn't drink and Lily isn't twenty one."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cool. Dallas and I will bring snacks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raegan smiles over at him, bumping against him playfully. “See! Already over that disagreement.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles in return. “I mean, it’s hard to have JJ without Dallas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Damn straight,” she says. "Talk to him tonight and make up. You two have been through too much to let something this small get between you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had been through too much together over the last twenty years to let something like this affect them for long - hell he considered Dallas and Joshua to be the brothers he never had. But JJ couldn’t ignore the anxious, guilty way his stomach churned at the way Dallas had stared at him while he ran from the argument yesterday, and he couldn’t help but to remember when something this small and insignificant </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> wedged something between them that took two years to properly repair. He just sincerely, honestly hoped that it didn’t turn out like that again this time.  JJ hums as his response, slowly laying a label onto the box he was holding. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’ll talk to him tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ shrugs his coat off and hangs it up on the coat hanger in the entryway, stomping out the snow in his boots and sighing softly to himself. The house is quiet, so he can only assume that his mom is working a late shift. Part of him would rather </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> be alone right now, but the less distractions he had from calling Dallas, the better (he guessed). He puts his boots on the shoe rack and heads into the kitchen, flipping on the lights as he goes and pulling out his phone, stopping next to the kitchen table when he sees the text from Dallas.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=The Better Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[4:02pm] hey jj im sorry about pushing you yesterday</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[4:02pm] that wasnt cool and it really wasnt cool to bring up what happened when you were in nevada</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[4:03pm] i know thats a sore subject for you and we agreed not to talk about it and it was a dick move to mention it like that</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[4:03pm] i know youre working right now but i had to tell you so you didnt think i was being an asshole on purpose</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[4:03pm] but can you call me when you have a sec so we can talk? please? (｡•́︿•̀｡)</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ runs his thumb up and down the screen, swiping the messages around a little, false starting the message in his head, before he starts typing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>[4:54pm] I’m home now. Give me a sec and I’ll call you?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[4:54pm] 👍</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ puts his phone back in his pocket and goes to the pantry and fridge to find something to snack on, heading back to his room with a can of Pringles and a bottle of sweet tea. He pushes his door closed with his foot, just in case his mom got home any sooner than he’s expecting, and sets his things down on his bed, moving to sit against the pillows. He slides his phone back out of his pocket, unlocking it and opening Dallas’s contact, hovering over the call button for a moment, before he presses it, putting it on speaker and setting it down on his sheets, his hands shaking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas answers after a ring and a half, and for a moment they both sit in silence among the static of the call. JJ picks at a string on his bedsheets, before he takes a breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dallas I’m-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“JJ look-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They start - and stop - at the same time, and then laugh softly to themselves. “We’re too in sync,” JJ says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even when we’ve had a disagreement,” Dallas agrees. “You can go first.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ fidgets, and snaps the string off his sheets. “I’m sorry. For being an asshole yesterday. I know you’re just looking out for me, because that’s what you do best, and I shouldn’t have run away like that,” he tells him. “So I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The line goes quiet for a moment - JJ hears a blinker being turned on in the background. “I’m sorry, too,” Dallas says after a moment. “I shouldn’t have pushed you like I did, and I shouldn’t have brought up what happened in Nevada, either. We promised not to talk about it and I broke that promise, and I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles a little. “That’s okay, you just owe me your first born now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bold of you to assume I’ll have kids,” Dallas says, laughing over the sound of a car being put into park. “Also that wasn’t in the original agreement.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Should have looked at the fine print,” JJ tells him. “What are you doing, anyway?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas hums. “Oh, Craig is finally not swamped with work and school so he invited me over,” he tells him. “I’m just parked in front of his apartment complex.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You were on your way to visit him and you still wanted to call me?” JJ asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yeah.” He hears Dallas’s keys jingle and the car door opens. “My best friend is more important than guys. Bros before hoes, Joseph.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ snorts and smiles to himself. “Alright. Well. This bro is going to dip so you can see your hoe-” He pointedly ignores Dallas’s bark of surprise. “-so I’ll talk to you tomorrow at work. Don’t stay out too late. You’re opening.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas chuckles. “Yes </span>
  <em>
    <span>dad</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he says sarcastically. “See you tomorrow, JJ.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See ya,” JJ says, and then the line beeps as Dallas hangs up. He smiles to himself for a moment, before sitting back, sighing happily. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything was going to be okay.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:10pm] Hey are you working at the coffee shop tomorrow?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:10pm] I stopped by earlier but a girl behind the counter said you weren’t there today</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:11pm] Sorry I was at my second job today!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:11pm] But I’ll be at the coffee shop tomorrow! :)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:12pm] Cool</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:12pm] I got something kinda dumb for you so I’ll be by to drop it off sometime</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:13pm] If that’s okay?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:13pm] Yeah! Totally okay. See you then :)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:13pm] Cool. See you then JJ :)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=The Better Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:14pm] [Screenshot_11262019001.jpeg]</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:14pm] What does this mean??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[8:14pm] it means……………………….</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[8:15pm] GAAAAAAAAAAAY</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:15pm] Says the one currently macking on his boyfriend</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[8:16pm] correct now let me return to the macking</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“JJ, can you </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> tell Joshua that we don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to play Christmas music this year?” Dallas asks, arms stretched over the table where he was currently taking his lunch break. Outside, the streets are bustling with people - but they hadn’t had any luck with customers since their usual morning rush. JJ’s sure he’s organized and reorganized the fridge three times now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joshua glances at him where he’s replacing pastries in the glass display. He hadn’t seemed as tense and stressed out as he did Monday, and he had even apologized for the way he snapped at them, too. “Last time I listened to you about our Christmas music choices, we ended up with an endless loop of Mariah Carey’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>All I Want For Christmas Is You</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Chris almost broke the radio himself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas frowns. “Okay, can we at least play Christmas music that doesn’t sound like the shit we grew up with at church?” he asks, and earns a heated glare from his brother. “What! It sucks! And it makes me want to curl up under a table somewhere and sleep. Y’know, like I did in church?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ sighs, pulling his dusting cloth away from the shelf he was cleaning. “Why don’t I make the Christmas playlist?” he asks them, getting both Graham siblings’ wide eyes staring at him. “I’ll put a bunch of the classics, like Bing and Bob Crosby, and Dean Martin. Stuff that won’t put someone to sleep. And I </span>
  <em>
    <span>won’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> put Mariah Carey on it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks for the support,” Dallas mumbles, typing away on his phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joshua sighs. “Fine,” he says. “JJ, you’re in charge of the music.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ grins and gives Joshua a half assed salute. “I won’t let you down, boss!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The elder Graham rolls his eyes and smiles to himself, before slipping into the back to grab more pastries. Dallas watches him go, then gets that mischievous smile on his face as he turns to look back over at JJ, setting his phone down. “So. When’s Arcade stopping by?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s face feels hot and he puts his back toward Dallas. “Sometime today,” he mumbles. “He never supplied me with </span>
  <em>
    <span>when</span>
  </em>
  <span> exactly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Boo,” Dallas says, and JJ hears the scrap of the chair against the tile as Dallas gets up. “Did he say what he got you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope. That would defeat the purpose of it being a surprise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas steps back behind the counter again, rolling his eyes. “Boo times two.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How’s Craig?” JJ asks, wanting to change the subject to calm the butterflies in his stomach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mm, good,” Dallas says, content, rinsing out the container he had brought lunch in, a smile on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ watches him, squinting in his direction. “Just good?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What, you want details?” Dallas asks, smirking back at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not the gross ones,” JJ tells him, frowning. “I can already guess how most of your night went, judging by that hickey you </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> is covered by your sweater.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas’s hand shoots to cover up the aforementioned mark in the space between his neck and shoulder, face going bright red. “H-He’s fine. Work and school have been kicking his ass, but nothing new there,” he tells JJ. “It was nice to spend some time with him, though. It’s been a couple of weeks since I had seen him last.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I was wondering which one of you would crack first,” JJ says, going back to wiping down the shelves. “Is he thinking about moving back to this side of town soon?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmm. We talked about getting an apartment together soon...ish…” Dallas hums and puts his apron back on. “But that’s a little far off right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ nods absently and glances over at the door, watching people carry on their lives outside of the windows and - “Oh my god, that’s Arcade,” he says, eyes trained on the familiar figure approaching the doors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas lets out a sound of glee, that’s quickly silenced by JJ throwing his dusty rag at him, just as Arcade walks in. “Hey-” he says, his face splitting with a wide smile as he pauses to wipe his feet on the mat. He’s got a gift bag hanging from his hand, and JJ can see Dallas staring at it out of the corner of his eye. “Hey, I, uh, hope I didn’t come at a weird time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope, not at all,” Dallas says, then gives JJ an exaggerated, </span>
  <em>
    <span>unnecessary</span>
  </em>
  <span>, wink as he makes his way into the back, blocking Joshua from leaving the stock room, and ushering him back further. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade watches and then steps over to JJ, his face bright red. “Uh…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, that’s Dallas. Best friend,” JJ supplies, awkwardly, shuffling his feet a little. “It’s nice to see you, though. Hi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi,” Arcade laughs, moving his free hand to rub at the back of his neck. “It’s nice to see you, too. Um. I got you something the other day. I hope it’s not… self-fulfilling, or anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ chuckles and takes it, stepping over toward a table. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just open it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ rolls his eyes and pulls the green tissue paper out, taking a book out and turning it over. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Latin for Dummies</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Are you calling me a dummy?” he asks, a smirk on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade returns the smile. “I mean, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> call it a dead language.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So my gift is a book for dummies on a dead language?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well when you say it that way, you make me sound like a shitty date.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s heart flutters at the word, grinning. “I dunno, I’ll decide if you are on Saturday.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade smiles and laughs, his face going bright red. “Alright, cool, I have a few more days to clean up my act,” he says. “Um. I gotta get going, but I’ll see you Saturday, alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” JJ says, heart racing in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nine is still okay for me to pick you up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cool.” Arcade stops at the door, and looks like he wants to move back toward JJ, say something, or a mix of the two. “See you then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you then,” JJ says lamely, watching him step outside and hide his smile behind his scarf. His entire body feels like it’s buzzing and he turns, putting the book and tissue paper back in the gift bag, as Dallas leaves the stockroom.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He got you </span>
  <em>
    <span>Latin for Dummies</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Dallas asks, coming up next to him and taking the book back out of the bag to look at it. Joshua follows close behind, looking irritated, and shakes his head. “Wow. Weird way of courting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ shrugs, smiling to himself. “Says the one who tried flirting and got the cold shoulder for a month.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas hits him in the shoulder as JJ laughs, moving around him to put his present away in his locker just as Joshua yells at them to get back to work. He closes the metal door and sighs happily, still feeling the pleasant tingle in his toes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t wait for Saturday.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:34pm] [img11282019001.jpeg]</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:34pm] Happy Thanksgiving!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:35pm] Happy Thanksgiving! That looks so good.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:35pm] How much money would it take for you to bring me some left overs of that on Saturday?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:36pm] Mmmm….</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:36pm] Roughly the price of the waffle combo at the breakfast place we’re going to?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:36pm] :)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:38pm] Deal.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:38pm] :)</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>literally my sense of time is all fucked up. ive got chapter 4 written and beta'd already ill try posting that one tomorrow ; - ;</p>
<p>dallas graham belongs to my <a href="https://twitter.com/danasaurusr">best friend!</a><br/>all other ocs are mine<br/>beta'd by my friend <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphirerays/pseuds/sapphirerays">amber!</a></p>
<p>[<a href="https://twitter.com/milessqueak">main twitter</a>] [<a href="https://twitter.com/c0uriers1x">fallout twitter</a>]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. off iterum interumque in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiaT9-LLqNM">Song For This Chapter</a>] Translates to "Off Again On Again"</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>JJ wakes up Saturday morning and doesn’t feel like he’s going to vomit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>nervous</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he won’t try to convince himself he’s not, but he doesn’t feel nearly as anxious as he did last Saturday. There’s a calm, excited buzzing under his skin as he does his rounds, trying to make himself presentable - one that he sincerely hasn’t felt in such a long time, that he kind of wonders what he’ll feel like when this gets more serious. Not like he’s trying to jump the gun, and get his hopes up. After all, Arcade </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> go back to California in a week, and JJ has a bad track record with long distance becoming a slowly approaching avalanche of heartbreak. But maybe being hopeful and optimistic this time around won’t be a bad idea - maybe it’ll turn out </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> the way he wants it to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ finishes rinsing the toothpaste out of his mouth and heads back to his bedroom, humming quietly to himself. He pulls on his jeans and one of his nicer sweaters, straightening it in the mirror and humming, turning on his feet and watching his reflection, smiling. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Damn</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he looks good. “Nice,” he says to himself quietly, stepping away to put a couple of discarded shirts back up in his closet and grabbing his phone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:55am] Hey I’m here. Kinda early. Oops</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[8:55am] If you aren’t ready, I’ll wait! :)</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:56am] Just let me throw my coat on and I’ll be out!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles and goes to grab his winter gear, humming along happily to the record playing from the living room. Rebecca looks up from where she’s lounging on the couch, closing her book gently around her thumb and smiling at him. “Hey. Is he almost here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s waiting outside,” JJ tells her, slipping on his boots. She coughs from the couch and he looks over, frowning. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She waves her hand a little. “Just the cold air getting to me, that’s all. Happens every year,” she tells him, smiling. She grabs her bookmark off the coffee table and slips it into her book, standing up from the couch. “I hope I get to meet this boy soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ feels his face go hot, and he hums. “If he’s serious about it, he can’t avoid meeting you,” he tells her, wrapping his scarf around his neck. “Meeting Dallas and meeting you are two of the most important things on the list of things to do when dating JJ Peterson.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rebecca laughs, and he smiles at the sound, pulling his coat. She comes over to him, putting her hands on his face and kissing his forehead. “Have fun today,” she tells him, smiling at him. “Above all else, okay? Be yourself. He’ll be an idiot to not be charmed by you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ looks away, smiling more and laughing quietly. “Okay, okay,” he tells her happily, kissing her cheek in return before he steps back to unlock the front door. “I will, don’t worry. I’ll see you when I get home, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, love you Joey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Love you, too, mom,” he says, opening the door and heading out front. There’s a silver Prius with California license plates parked at the curb in front of his house - still running - and he grins to himself as he walks down the path, avoiding the icy patches. His eyes linger on a large scrape in the paint on the back bumper, out of place on the otherwise shiny exterior, before he opens the passenger door, sliding into the warmth inside. “So you drive a Prius.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade looks over at him from where he’s typing away on his phone, his face going red. “Well hello to you, too,” he says, unable to keep himself from smiling as he finishes his message and puts his phone in a cup holder. He’s got music playing on his radio - it’s playing some song by the Beatles, and JJ immediately recognizes that he’s just tuned into the classic rock station here. “Sorry I got here early.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, no, don’t worry,” JJ tells him, reaching over to change the station to something more modern. Arcade just stares at him. “I was ready to go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cool,” Arcade says, watching him for a moment before going pink in the face and smiling. “Well… Breakfast?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles back, heart skipping a beat. “I’m starving, so please.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Two Sugars Diner was one of JJ’s favorite places in Ogden, a little all-day breakfast place tucked away on the corner of a couple of slower streets in town just down the street from the highway. It wasn’t too far from the church he and Dallas had been forced to attend every Sunday as kids, and he can still remember the weekends Dallas had been lucky enough to come with JJ and his mom to Two Sugars for after service brunch, letting them have their fill of waffles and scrambled eggs. And even in high school, after Dallas got Joshua’s old hand-me-down car, they made trips after school to eat away their problems. It held nothing but good memories for JJ - and that fact alone makes him glad he never brought The Nevada Incident home with him to ruin it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade holds the door open for him as they head in, JJ smiling to himself at the jingle of the bell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Welcome in!” a waitress says, two plates in her hands as she smiles over at them. It’s not too terribly busy inside - a few groups of people taking up booths and truck drivers sipping coffee at the counter. It’s been years, but the interior never changes much, a detail that makes JJ feel right at home. “Take a seat wherever you like! I’ll be with you in a minute!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“C’mon,” JJ says, taking Arcade’s hand gently and leading him over to the booth in the corner next to the wide windows, sliding in on the bench. The vinyl squeaks under him as he unwraps his scarf and slides his coat off. Arcade takes his place across from him. “This is usually where I sit when I’m here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me you have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>usual</span>
  </em>
  <span>, too,” Arcade says, a grin in his voice as he wiggles his coat off. JJ just grins in response. “Oh, no.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ laughs. “I used to come here all the time as a kid. And even more as a teenager.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade hums as he looks around the diner. “Really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Just about every Sunday after church, and then after school like twice a week in high school.”</span>
</p>
<p><span>“Church?” Arcade asks, a smile tugging at his lips.</span> <span>“You used to go to church?”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>JJ nods. “Yeah. Up until I came out to my mom at twelve,” he tells Arcade. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade looks like he wants to say something, when the waitress comes up, setting menus down in front of them and pouring them both coffee. “Do you two need a moment to look over the menu?” she asks, smiling between them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, please,” Arcade says, smiling at her as she nods and heads off to check on another table. They both fall into silence for a moment, before Arcade clears his throat - awkwardly. “Um. When you say come out…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s on his second package of sugar in his coffee. “Um. I’m bisexual. Well. I’m trans, too. I guess that’s probably a little more important,” he tells him, not making eye contact, ripping open another package of sugar to dump into his mug. “Church left a bad taste in my mouth after I realized how much preaching they do about the damnation of people like me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… can imagine,” Arcade says, and it sounds a little sad. “I wouldn’t like sitting through that, either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ looks up at him and hums, smiling to himself a little. “It sucks.” Arcade hums quietly in agreement as he takes a sip of his coffee. “I mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> can call myself a heathen and the devil incarnate, but I don’t appreciate when other people do that. Self-deprecation is one thing, you know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade snorts into his coffee, pulling his mug away and coughing quietly, laughter bubbling up between. “Wow,” he says. JJ grins to himself in satisfaction and looks down at the menu. “No one’s allowed to call you a devil incarnate heathen except you, noted.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ chuckles as he looks over the menu like he doesn’t already know what he wants to eat. “I recommend the combos that come with eggs, meat and waffles, by the way,” he tells him, looking up and leaning over a little to point at it. “Or the one that’s just eggs and bacon and like... a mountain of hash browns.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> a doctor, at the end of the day, you know,” Arcade says, chuckling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doctor’s can still have a cheat day, you know,” JJ says, lifting his eyes to look at Arcade, face going warm at how relaxed and at peace and </span>
  <em>
    <span>soft</span>
  </em>
  <span> he looked, just staring down at his menu. “They have some vegetable omelettes on the next page, if you’re really into eating something healthier.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm… I dunno...” Arcade’s eyes are still scanning over his options, before he looks up and </span>
  <em>
    <span>smirks</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It shoots a hot arrow directly down to JJ’s stomach, and he tries not to visibly recoil. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>, okay, cool. “I think you might be kind of a bad influence on me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ sits back, pulling his hand away from Arcade’s menu and picking up his coffee to take a long drink, swallowing away the lump that had formed in his throat. His coffee is way too bitter - it definitely needs more sugar and creamer. “Mm,” he hums, not trusting his voice. It had been </span>
  <em>
    <span>way</span>
  </em>
  <span> too long since someone had looked at him in a way that made him feel hot under the collar. But Arcade </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> attractive, and Dallas had been right last week - he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> into him. He needed to keep his inappropriate thoughts to himself. It was their </span>
  <em>
    <span>second date</span>
  </em>
  <span>, for Christ’s sake.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a relief when the waitress comes by, taking their orders down on her notepad - and JJ notes with pride that Arcade ends up ordering the same waffle combo as him - and then disappears again. “I’m holding you to it that these waffles are good,” Arcade tells him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, don’t worry, they are,” JJ manages to answer around the lump in his throat. “Totally worth a trip to Utah on it’s own. You won’t be disappointed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade takes a sip of his coffee, looking out the window at the snow softly falling, leaving a new dusting of white on the roads and sidewalks. “I mean, I’d probably visit Utah in the future for more than just waffles,” he says, eyes glancing over at JJ again. His heart skips a beat. “But I don’t know, if they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>good…” They settle into comfortable silence for a moment - Arcade finally reaching over to put a sugar or two into his coffee and JJ indecisively switching between watching the snow and watching Arcade - before Arcade speaks again. “Um. So last week…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhm?” JJ hums, looking back over him again. From somewhere back in the kitchen, there’s a clash of dishes in a sink. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mentioned you went to school in Nevada,” Arcade says. “Um. What’d you major in?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ blinks for a moment. He takes a sip of coffee first, instead of immediately answering. “Um. I didn’t graduate,” he tells him. “I was trying to get a degree in history. I only attended in person for a little over a year, and then I did part-time online stuff for about a year after that. I dropped out a few years ago.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Arcade doesn’t say anything for a beat. “Did… something happen?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Did something happen</span>
  </em>
  <span>. JJ tries not to feel resentful at how </span>
  <em>
    <span>innocently</span>
  </em>
  <span> Arcade asks that, because there’s no way he could possibly know all that had happened to him in the span of three years. “Um. My mom…” he starts softly. “She got really sick at the beginning of 2015? And, uh, I’m not sure if you’ve figured it out but my dad isn’t in the picture anymore. So I had to come back here to take care of her, and the bills.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yikes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” JJ laughs, a little bitter. “I switched to online stuff and got a job, while I was letting her get back on her feet. But I had to pick up more financial responsibility around the house, so I dropped out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They fall back into silence. The waitress comes by with their plates, setting them down in front of them. Arcade thanks her quietly and she heads off, stopping at a couple of tables away to chat. JJ picks up his fork to dig into his food, but Arcade starts talking. “I’m… sorry, JJ,” he says softly, barely audible over the commotion of the diner. “That’s… really rough.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ stares at him for only a moment, before looking down at his waffles. If </span>
  <em>
    <span>only</span>
  </em>
  <span> that was the entire story there.  “It’s alright. It was a few years ago, things are okay now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you ever thought about going back?” Arcade asks, cutting off a bite of waffle as he does.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve thought about it, but… I don’t know. It was expensive then, I doubt it’ll be less expensive now.” JJ scoops up some eggs and syrup, taking a bite and humming. “Besides, things are going great here. I like my jobs, and my coworkers. I’ve got friends and my mom’s doing good.” He smiles at Arcade. “And I’m meeting interesting and fun people. What more could I ask for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade smiles back, taking his bite of the waffles and humming quietly. “Oh… Oh shit these are good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ grins and laughs. “I told you so!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They fall into polite, minimal conversation as they eat. Arcade pays when they’re done, holds JJ’s hand back to his car, and doesn’t change the radio station on the way back. And, like the morning couldn’t already be like floating on cloud nine, when he drops him back off at home, JJ </span>
  <em>
    <span>swears</span>
  </em>
  <span> he almost leans over to kiss him goodbye, but hesitates and leans back at the last moment. “I’ll come by to see you before my flight okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” JJ says, hand hesitating on the door handle, heart racing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had fun,” Arcade says, a smile on his face. “That was really fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had fun, too,” JJ tells him, mirroring his smile. “I’ll see you soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ gets out, heading up to the door and taking his keys out. He turns back, waving to Arcade as he heads in, slumping back against the door when he gets inside, sighing happily to himself and covering his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> into him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[12:04pm] At risk of sounding like a broken record, I had a great time today</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[12:05pm] I hope we can meet up more in the future.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[12:05pm] If that’s not… assuming too much. About the future.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[12:05pm] That’s not assuming too much :)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[12:06pm] I’d like nothing more than to see you again someday</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[12:06pm] Even after you go back to California.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[12:07pm] Cool.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[12:07pm] Talk to you later, JJ </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[12:07pm] Talk to you soon!!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Graham and Co. is dead. Their normal lunch rush had hit them about an hour earlier and they hadn’t managed to see a customer since, all of them bustling past the quiet coffee shop in favor of the franchises and shops littered up and down the street. Usually JJ laments how dead and boring the shop gets when there’s no customers coming in - a mind numbingly slow process that makes his entire day go by snail slow - but he was almost welcoming it right now. He still had heart eyes and butterflies over his date on Saturday (even thought that was three days ago, now), and Dallas seemed to only instigate his chatter about it more than normal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ couldn’t place why it felt off - Dallas seemed to be his normal, chipper self, making jokes and sassy comments about everything. But there was an edge to his voice, and a tension in his shoulders, and JJ didn’t want to comment on it, in case it was just in his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t believe he </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost</span>
  </em>
  <span> kissed you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ rolls his eyes as he wipes down the tables for what feels like the third time. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was going to. It looked like he leaned over, but I could have been wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas shrugs from his place at the front counter, leaning on his elbows and watching JJ. “I dunno, if I was him, I would have kissed you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> kissed me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas waves his hand dismissively. “Details,” he says. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani comes out from where she was organizing stock and hip-checks Dallas as she passes him. “Are you two talking about JJ’s date again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas recovers and stands up straight. “Yes!” he says, watching her. “It’s the topic of the day!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hums, refilling the coffee grinder. “And which detail is it this time? The classic rock station he was listening to, the fact he held the door open, or...?” she asks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s stomach swoops at the implication - Arcade’s mouth turned up into a smirk is </span>
  <em>
    <span>burned</span>
  </em>
  <span> into his brain at this point. “Nothing inappropriate,” he tells her, lamely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So the classic rock station, then,” she says, a knowing smile on her face. JJ looks away from her and continues cleaning the tables.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He looks like the kind of guy that would listen to the Beatles,” Dallas tells them both, leaning back against the counter to face the store, crossing his arms. “That or country music.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani hums, grabbing another bag of coffee beans. “Didn’t you go through a Keith Urban phase?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas scoffs. “Yeah, when I was like ten, and still thought I was straight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bell jingles above the door. Joshua walks in, wearing a dress shirt and nice slacks under his normal coat, loosening his tie. There’s still snow in his hair and his eyebrows are drawn down. He looks </span>
  <em>
    <span>stressed</span>
  </em>
  <span> - more stressed than he has been lately. “Sorry I’m late,” he apologizes. Dani checks her watch at that, frowning. “I had a meeting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A meeting?” JJ asks, straightening up a little. Dani glances over at him, concern evident in her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Joshua crosses the floor, slipping behind the counter. Dallas is quiet, watching him with determined, almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared</span>
  </em>
  <span>, eyes. “Yeah,” he says, taking the shop keys out of his pocket. “Dallas, can I talk to you for a minute?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas follows him. The shop falls silent around the two of them as the back office door shuts. “What was that about?” JJ asks, looking at Dani for answers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani looks sullen, glancing at where the brothers had disappeared to. “Did Dallas not tell you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me what?” JJ feels nauseous - what happened? What was Dallas not telling him?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Joshua mentioned it to me the other day. Things are escalating again between their parents, and they’ve been having to commit more time to fixing it.” Dani pours the last of the coffee beans in the grinder, sighing softly to herself. “He had to go see their lawyer this morning, to try to find a resolution.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ wrings the rag he’s holding. This was supposed to be resolved months ago, but he doesn’t say it. He just hopes however it ends, it doesn’t end with Dallas having to see his parents - he’s managed to avoid that for nearly a decade. “Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani looks at him, and gives him a small smile. “Don’t worry. I’m sure Dallas meant well, not mentioning it to you. He doesn’t want to rain on your parade.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas comes out of the back office a moment later, then disappears into the employee back room. Joshua emerges after him, button up replaced with a regular t-shirt, his apron already tied around himself. “Dallas is heading home early,” he tells them both. Dallas walks past him a second later as if summoned, face downcast, and doesn’t say a word as he passes JJ.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s eyes follow him the entire way out of the shop.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=The Better Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[3:03pm] Hey, you okay?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[3:03pm] You left suddenly earlier</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[3:04pm] yeah im okay</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[3:04pm] just not feeling well??? started feelin sick really suddenly</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[3:04pm] sorry for worrying you jj</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[3:05pm] No problem, Dallas</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[3:05pm] Feel better soon dude :) &lt;3</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[3:05pm] &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=The Other Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>[9:40pm] Hey, JJ. I know it’s far in advance, but would you be able to open the shop on the 20th?</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[9:42pm] Hey! Yeah, no problem I can do that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>[9:43pm] Thanks JJ. Have a nice night. See you Thursday morning.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re never going to get caught up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vincent steps into the backroom, dropping a box down on the table and cursing under his breath. He looks tired - more tired than usual - dark bags under his eyes as he rubs at his face, then runs his hand through his hair. There’s a tension set in his shoulders as he grabs another empty box, mumbling under his breath. “Between the phone orders and the people coming in, we’re going to be packaging things and delivering them for the rest of our fucking lives.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nash’s is still busy - there was a laundry list of orders ready for processing, packaging and labeling when JJ got in after his shift at the coffee shop, even with Vincent and Raegan working on it for hours before he got in. There was a dark cloud hanging over Vincent, too, with tension and anger rolling off of him in waves. But JJ hadn’t gotten a chance to ask him what was up - everytime he turned, Vincent was either working on another order silently, or had his face in his phone, looking increasingly worse off. It probably didn’t help that right after Raegan had left for the day, Ruby and Nash both had handed the keys to the shop over to them for the night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, Christmas is soon. We’ll slow down after Christmas,” JJ says, humming and grabbing a label to put on a box, setting it into the ready pile. “No worries.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Vincent says, then looks down at his phone again - his brow sets in a deep frown. “Jesus, I hope so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ watches him, then hums. “What’s up with you, anyway?” he asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vincent goes quiet. “Just… some shit is happening,” he says, taping the box in front of him down. “Personal shit. Don’t worry, I’ll get over it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’d rather not talk about it amongst these stupid jam jars and cardboard boxes,” Vincent says, huffing softly. “Hey, can you watch the front for a bit? I need a break from the onslaught of customers.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure, of course,” JJ says, handing over the tape gun he was holding. “Just let me know if you want to switch again before I leave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vincent makes a noise of agreement, and JJ takes that and goes. The front of the store is clean and organized, and there’s still music playing softly from the bluetooth speaker set up in the corner. JJ sighs and goes over to the register, leaning on the front counter and watching the traffic on the street go by. He can vaguely hear Vincent’s voice from the back - always loud with an edge to it, even on his good days - so he ignores him, and lets himself get lost in his thoughts as he waits for a customer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ was </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> so entranced by Saturday - even if it had been almost a week since. It had been a while since he had last gone on a date that went so </span>
  <em>
    <span>well</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and even longer since he had found someone he was so legitimately into. And Arcade was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> nice, and he was handsome, and he had a great sense of humor that meshed so well with JJ’s, and they could have a conversation that was more than surface level. It was so hard not to feel some completely </span>
  <em>
    <span>smitten</span>
  </em>
  <span> with him, like some sort of lovestruck teenager. JJ just couldn’t remember the last time he had managed to find someone that was just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>great.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ sighs, resting his cheek against his hand, smiling to himself gently, when the chime above the door jingles. “Welcome in,” he says absently, then looks over, feeling his face go warm as he stands up straighter. “Arcade?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade stands awkwardly just inside of the shop, going red when he sees JJ. He looks a little disheveled as he smiles, smoothing his hair down a little. “Hey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles and steps around the front counter toward him. “Hey, how… how did you figure out this is where I worked?” he asks, chuckling quietly. “Are you stalking me now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“N-No,” Arcade says nervously, laughing and rubbing the back of his neck. “No, no, I, uh, stopped at the coffee shop, and Dallas said you’d be here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” JJ laughs and moves a hand to rub at his arm, cheeks hot. “That makes more sense, yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-Yeah, I wanted to see you one more time before I left in a couple of days,” Arcade tells him, moving his hand to JJ’s arm, just on top of his hand. JJ feels his heart flutter. “Um. I just want to say that I’ll keep in touch with you. And next time I’m here, I’ll let you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles more. “Yeah, yeah, of course,” he says softly. Arcade felt closer than he did a moment ago - was he closer? “I’ll look forward to seeing you again soon…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade smiles at him, dropping his hand down to JJ’s, before he leans in and kisses his cheek gently. JJ feels his stomach bottom out. “I promise I’ll see you again soon,” he tells him gently, almost whispering in his ear, and - </span>
  <em>
    <span>God</span>
  </em>
  <span>, JJ shivers. “Take care of yourself, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.” Arcade steps back and lets go of JJ’s hand. “Have a safe flight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade steps backwards, then steps back out of the store, almost tripping over the mat in the process. JJ stands there, watching him go, moving a hand to rest over his chest and feeling the heavy </span>
  <em>
    <span>thumpthumpthump</span>
  </em>
  <span> of his heart against his ribs, his face so hot he was scared it would melt off. He can still feel Arcade’s lips where they had pressed against his cheek, and can still hear his voice low in his ear. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was at work he couldn’t think about that right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Holy shit, was that Arcade?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ nearly jumps out of his skin and swivels on his heel, looking back at Vincent standing in the doorway to the back. He’s holding his phone - the screen still on - and his eyes are wide, staring at the door that Arcade had just walked out of. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> was him? Dude, what the fuck? How come </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> always manage to find the hot ones?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He flounders, for a moment, trying to kickstart the wiring in his brain to think of actual </span>
  <em>
    <span>words</span>
  </em>
  <span> again, before he settles on, “I don’t know, maybe it’s just my Peterson brand of charm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vincent stares at him, then looks back toward the door again, then huffs. “That’s so not fair,” he mumbles, disappearing into the backroom again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ stands there for another moment, his heart still racing in his ears, before his phone vibrates in his pocket.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Chris=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>[8:15pm] in-n-out in riverdale tomorrow?</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>[8:16pm] ive got a shift at graham’s but im off at 4</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:16pm] Yeah, sure sounds good</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>[8:16pm] cool ill be by then</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <span>[8:16pm] talk to you later</span>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:17pm] See ya!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, he’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>doctor</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s got his feet up on the dashboard of Chris’s old Pontiac, picking at the bun of his burger. They’re parked in the parking lot of the In-N-Out in Riverdale, a regular spot for them when one or both of them was needing a break from the familiarity that Ogden brought them. And it had been a while since they had hung out - much less seen each other. The sun is setting on the horizon, casting long, awkward shadows from the sign across them, and JJ finally takes a bite of his food, staring out at the watercolor clouds drifting by slowly. “Mhm. He said he’s a family doctor, out in California. Used to be an EMT.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow,” Chris says between chews of his fries. “California snob.” JJ casts him a long look and Chris shrugs. “What? Vincent’s from California. I can say that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Vincent’s not a snob,” JJ tells him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris shoves a few fries in his mouth, humming around them. The song changes on the radio and he can hear Chris’s phone vibrate in the cup holder. JJ glances down and sees Vincent’s name flash on the screen. “You're not dating him. He’s a snobby asshole.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ hums and takes a sip of his drink. “Sure. Also he’s texting you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris Morales is one of JJ’s best friends - solid second place, right after Dallas. They met right after JJ came back to Utah from Nevada, right around when they both got hired at Joshua's coffee shop. He knew Chris could be hot headed, sometimes an asshole, and definitely come across as way less interested than he actually was, but at his core he sincerely and deeply cared about the people around him - probably more than he should. JJ could relate to that aspect of Chris, even if he never admitted it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris Morales cared way too much, all the time, so he had to pretend like he never cared at all in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He can wait,” Chris says, taking a bite of his burger. JJ narrows his eyes at the chill to his tone. “Anyway what’s he doing in Utah anyway? Especially out here. What’s there even do to here for a thirty five year old Californian doctor?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s visiting friends.” JJ taps the toe of his shoe on the windshield. It wasn’t like he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> like to talk about Arcade more. But he could sense that something was really bothering Chris. “What’s going on between you and Vincent?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris goes quiet, and for a moment the only sounds between them are the radio and the vague bubbling of their sodas. From outside the car, JJ hears someone talking on their phone loudly as the leave In-N-Out, and turns to watch them. “We got into a huge argument last night. Over him going into the army."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Again?” JJ asks, wiping his head back to look at him. "Chris-"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No. Don't give me that same bullshit pity tone that Raegan does," Chris snaps. "He knows I hate the idea, that I've </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> liked the idea. But he keeps asking me what I think and then gets mad when I tell him! What does he expect? That I'll change my mind?" He takes an angry bite of his burger and a large drop of lettuce and ketchup falls into the tray in his lap. "I've been against the idea since we were in high school. He just keeps pushing my buttons on it until I snap and then </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> look like the asshole."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ wipes up some ketchup with a fry. He knows Vincent's been talking about enlisting for years, a mix of wanting to do something better, but most importantly so he can afford to go back to school, finally. But it's been a merry-go-round with his sister, Jessie, and Chris himself. It seems like every other week Vincent manages to piss one of them off with the same broken record argument. "What does Jessie think?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Jess is worried he's turning out too much like their father, and she hates it more than she's ever hated anything, but she won't tell him." Chris grabs a napkin off the dashboard and wipes at his face and hands. "Which sucks. She's the only one who can get through his stupid thick skull."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris's phone vibrates in the cup holder again. JJ takes a sip of his soda. "Mmm."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"He's just… he's so selfish. He runs into situations with no regard to how anyone else around him will feel about it," Chris says, slumping in his seat and gripping his steering wheel, the bill of his backwards snapback hitting the headrest of his seat. "I just wish he'd </span>
  <em>
    <span>seriously</span>
  </em>
  <span> ask for my opinion for once. Just fucking once. Am I asking too much, JJ?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, you're not," JJ tells him, taking another long drink from his cup. Something about this whole situation settles into his stomach like a rock, but he can't place his finger on it - he chalks it up to not knowing how to handle Chris and Vincent fighting so often, and tells himself he'll talk to Dani later. "I think it's reasonable to ask him to seriously consider your feelings. There's no crime in that."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"He's damn good at making me feel like there is…"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Have you talked to him? Since last night."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris tightens and loosens his hands on his steering wheel. "No. He said something that was too much, and I locked him out of the bedroom. When I got up this morning he had already left for work, so I didn't bother. I needed the space anyway."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ hums. "Maybe you should." If on queue, Chris's phone starts vibrating, long drawn out buzzes that let them both know it's a phone call. Chris fishes it out and stares at the screen, thumb hovering over the answer button. "Answer it. I'll go throw out our trash."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris stares at him for a moment, but then swipes to answer the call. "Hey..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ gathers their wrappers and trays, pulling himself out of the car to walk across a few spaces to toss their trash, sighing to himself in the cold Utah air. The pit in his stomach still hasn't lifted, and he hesitates at the trash can for a moment, frowning at an ant crawling around a splash of milkshake. Why did it feel like something was really wrong, like this entire situation was an omen for worse to come? He rubs awkwardly at his wrist, before he hears Chris's car start up behind him, and he turns to head back over to it, getting in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris refuses to look at him, sniffling softly and wiping at his eyes. "Is it cool if I just drop you off at home?" he asks, looking down at his phone and typing something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course,” JJ says, putting his seat belt back on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They drive in absolute silence back home, except for the sounds of Chris’s sniffles and the salt on the road crunching under the tires. JJ doesn’t know what to say. He had been wondering if something was going on between them, though, if Vincent’s behavior yesterday was anything to go on, but he didn’t think things were </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> bad. Chris was legitimately upset over this, and JJ would </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span> to see this be the breaking point for them - for all their individual faults, they both cared for each other </span>
  <em>
    <span>so much</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’d be a tragedy if they broke up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chris pulls up to the curb in front of JJ’s house a moment later, but JJ doesn’t get out immediately. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?” JJ asks. “Anything, I’m serious.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Chris doesn’t look at him. His eyes are welling with tears again, and he continues to stare straight ahead out the windshield. “I’ll see you later, JJ.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ hesitates, then gets out of the car, heading up the walkway to the door and glancing back as he makes it to the porch. Chris has his forehead on his steering wheel, his shoulders shaking as he holds his phone up to his ear. JJ holds onto the doorknob tight, then turns away to go inside.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay NOW it might be another hot second until i have the next chapter out. gotta get back into the groove for this story</p>
<p>dallas graham belongs to my <a href="https://twitter.com/danasaurusr">best friend!</a><br/>all other ocs are mine<br/>beta'd by my friend <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphirerays/pseuds/sapphirerays">amber!</a></p>
<p>[<a href="https://twitter.com/milessqueak">main twitter</a>] [<a href="https://twitter.com/c0uriers1x">fallout twitter</a>]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. in test temporis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzIxNsQLuNI">Song For This Chapter</a>] Translates to "The Test of Time"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chris’s words at In-N-Out stay in JJ’s brain the entire weekend, along with a looping motion picture of his phone insistently buzzing in the cupholder, the silent drive home, and Chris leaning against his steering wheel, softly sobbing. He knew things like this just </span>
  <em>
    <span>happened</span>
  </em>
  <span> - that relationships sometimes were tried and tested, and either came out on the other side stronger or fizzled out under the pressure. And he knew Chris and Vincent were no different, and weren’t immune to problems - but he couldn’t shake off the part of himself that felt like his world was falling apart at the seams at just the </span>
  <em>
    <span>thought</span>
  </em>
  <span> of them breaking up. Nor could he place exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>he felt like that. Maybe it was because of how long they had been together, because JJ has </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> known a Chris without Vincent and vice versa. Or maybe it was because they were both such good friends, and he didn’t want to see either of them hurting over something like that. Or maybe it was because JJ was so drastically opposed to radical change that he himself didn’t instigate, and would rather move heaven and hell to prevent it than let fate take its course. Thinking about it too much made him feel bummed out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s glad to get in on Sunday and find Nash’s shop lacking one Vincent Watts, however. He had come in on Saturday, eyes shot and hair a mess looking for Chris, and Lily had to lie through her teeth and tell him that she hadn’t seen him yet while JJ hid in the backroom with Chris. If nothing else, at least he could get a break from how </span>
  <em>
    <span>awkward</span>
  </em>
  <span> being between them would be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So Lily is bringing Coke and Sprite," Jessie says, perched on top of the table to Raegan's right, a jar of preserves in her lap and her phone in her hands, typing away frantically. "And Dani says she can bring Fanta and whatever else. Can you think of anything else?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reagan's handing an empty, folded box over to JJ, brow pulled down low as she thinks. "Christ… I don't know. Root beer? Dr. Pepper? Pepsi? You really think I'm going to be drinking </span>
  <em>
    <span>soda</span>
  </em>
  <span> on New Year's, Wolf?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ folds the box and starts to tape it down, looking up as Jessie grins back at her. Reagan's close enough that she reaches over, poking her shoulder. "Well, no, but mixed drinks with soda </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> a thing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Diaz.</span>
  </em>
  <span>"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raegan just rolls her eyes. She’s got the keys to the shop on a band around her wrist, Nash and Ruby deciding to step out again for the night and leave them in charge. Raegan and Jessie certainly were a better duo for responsibility, at least - JJ was just kind of sitting by, listening to them, doing whatever was handed to him. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> just worried about whether we'll have enough champagne and vodka.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessie puts her hand on her girlfriend’s waist and steals a kiss the moment she’s turned toward her properly. “Mhm,” she hums, non-committedly. “What sort of snacks are you and Dallas bringing, JJ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” JJ says softly, his hands pausing on the label he’s smoothing out on top of the box. Truth be told, Dallas and him hadn’t spoken a word about the party - between JJ being so caught up mentally over Arcade (and now whatever was going on with Chris and Vincent), and Dallas and Joshua having to go back to meeting with their lawyers over their parents, it didn’t feel like there was much room to try and fit it in. Which was </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Usually they’d make time for unnecessary things all the time. Something uncomfortable churns in his stomach at the realization. “Uh. Y’know, chips. And stuff?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Insightful,” Raegan murmurs, then grabs a pile of orders, heading back up front just as the bells chime at the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessie watches her go and hums. “Haven’t really thought about it?” she asks, and smiles, because she’s Jessie and she could read most people like a children’s book.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ deflates. “Yeah,” he murmurs. Jessie slides off the table to actually grab a box and start packing up the preserves she was holding in her lap, and JJ watches her move around the room for a moment, before he swallows his hesitation away around the lump in his throat. “So. Uh. Have you talked to Vincent?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessie halts what she’s doing for a moment - smoothing out a label on a jar of jam - and turns to him, brows furrowed. “Have </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> talked to Chris?” she asks, rather than answering his question directly. He just nods, and she seems to sulk at it. “Vincent stayed with Raegan and I over the weekend,” she tells him, turning back to the table she’s working at.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That bad?” JJ asks quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She just shrugs. “He said something that really pissed off Chris, is what I managed to gather from his half-coherent bitching,” she mumbles, and sets a jar down a little too rough. “He’s been talking to that recruiter, again, and he’s probably asked Chris and I both our opinions and thoughts on the whole thing a thousand times by now, but, y’know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s stubborn,” JJ supplies. He tapes up the box he’s spent the last fifteen minutes on, and puts it in a pile for Raegan when she gets back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He is </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> mother’s child,” she mutters bitterly under her breath. “He’s trying too hard to follow in our dad’s footsteps. I practically </span>
  <em>
    <span>begged</span>
  </em>
  <span> him not to do it, but he never listens to me. And what’s possibly worse, is that he’s going behind Chris’s back about it, too, now.” She goes quiet for a moment, rubbing her thumb over the same spot on the jam jar’s label, before sighing heavily. “I know that he’s not going to back down about this, and neither will Chris. They’re not going to be able to compromise, and I’m terrified of what </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> means.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ watches her back, then looks away. “I know what you mean,” he says quietly. He’s not sure what to say. “He came in looking for Vincent yesterday, but-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chris hid in the backroom with you,” Jessie says, turning to look at him when his head bolts up in surprise. She snorts, an amused smile on her face. “He was texting Raegan.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to instigate whatever is happening between them,” JJ clarified. “But Chris… He </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t want to talk to him, especially not in the middle of his workplace.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessie waved her hand a little. “I’m not going to judge. I would have done the same thing. Vincent </span>
  <em>
    <span>might</span>
  </em>
  <span> be my brother, but he’s an asshole. He doesn’t know how to approach things in a level-headed way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ snorts. “You can say that again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jessie goes to say something, just Raegan comes back in, stretching her arms over her head. The conversation between them immediately drops, and Jessie perks up, putting a smile on her face, casting a long look toward JJ. “Y’know, I said I wanted vodka, but I think I’m going to get tequila, too. New Year’s margaritas sound </span>
  <em>
    <span>awesome</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Outside, the snow that’s been falling for the last week has turned into a grey-tinged rain that makes everything on the ground into a muddy, slushy mess. A salt truck goes by on the road, scattering sand over patches of invisible ice on the pavement. JJ locks the door of Graham and Co., then turns the open sign over in the window. “Hey, what are we taking to Raegan and Jessie’s party on New Year’s?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas is standing off to the right, a broom in hand even though he hasn’t swept anything up in over ten minutes, and hums as he thinks. He’s typing away on a message on his phone - most likely to his boyfriend. “I dunno. Chips and stuff?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ snorts, crossing to go back behind the counter to start cleaning up the dishes left in the sink from after Dani left for the night. “C’mon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, how about… Pringles? We could get some Tostitos and bean dip? Not tell anyone it’s the spicy stuff, see how long it takes before Vincent and Lily cry?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t likely that Vincent would be there, but JJ doesn’t say that. “Sure, that sounds good to me,” JJ says, scrubbing at a measuring cup that was left caked in chocolate syrup. “Is Craig coming?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of a broom against the tile answers him first. “He is! He actually got time off to make it. I’m just glad that Jessie and Raegan don’t mind me inviting him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y’know he’s always welcome,” JJ says, turning back to look at him. “As long as you two don’t drunkenly make out on their couch like you did that one year.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas stutters and goes red, spinning to look at him. “T-That was one time!” he says, huffing indignantly to himself. “A-And you know I don’t like assuming.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Funny that you do that to me a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re an exception to the rule,” Dallas says with a grin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ rolls his eyes, setting things to the side to dry. “Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They fall into uncomfortable silence. The air around them is itchy, and JJ wants to ask about the lawyers and why Dallas hasn’t told him, but the words get caught in his throat. What if asking </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> would make him look like a bad friend? It </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> been nearly a week since Dani had mentioned it to him. God was he really lacking as Dallas’s best friend right now? He grabs a towel to wipe down the counters, looking over at Dallas, still sweeping under the chairs and tables.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, JJ?” Dallas asks, and JJ jumps a little as he turns to look at him. “Can… I have something I need to tell you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ nods. “Sure, of course. Shoot.” Dallas fidgets with his broom for a moment, opening his mouth to start talking, only for JJ’s phone to suddenly start ringing in his pocket. His mouth shuts tight again and he turns, starting to sweep again. JJ scrambles to pull his phone out, answering the call quickly without looking at the screen. Who in the world would be calling him at nine at night? “Hello?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“JJ?” Comes Arcade’s voice, tinny over the speaker.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arcade?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Arcade?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Dallas echoes, dropping his broom and moving toward JJ.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, JJ-” Arcade says awkwardly. Dallas tries to squeeze himself closer to listen in on the phone call, and JJ waves him away, frowning. “I… Y’know, didn’t think about how you’re an hour ahead of me, sorry-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no, it’s okay we’re just closing up at work and-” JJ tries to side step away from Dallas, digging in his pocket for his headphones. “Hold on-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, why can’t I listen in!” Dallas says. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade makes a strangled noise on his end. JJ puts an earbud in. “Because this isn’t a conversation for you, Dallas Ryan!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas huffs, then goes over to grab his broom again, disappearing into the back where the bathrooms were. JJ plugs his headphones in. “Uh, I should have checked before I called-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no, it’s okay. There’s no customers,” JJ says. He takes a moment to compose himself, just now noticing how his heart is beating a mile a minute. “Is… everything okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arcade goes quiet on his end. In the background, he can hear the distant honking of horns, and vague rustling. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s okay,” he says, laughing quietly. He sounds tired, his voice just starting to edge on something akin to anxiety, but JJ can’t be totally sure. Definitely feels… weird. “I just… wanted to check up on you, I guess?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ leans against the counter, slipping his phone into his pocket and putting his weight on his elbows. A pile of forgotten debris Dallas had been sweeping stares back at him from the ground. “Uh, sure, it’s only been a few days, though.” He lets himself smirk, even if Arcade can’t see it. “Are you already suffering from Peterson withdrawal?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the background on Arcade’s end, there’s the sound of sirens, somewhat close, and his breathy laugh. “Maybe a little?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That makes JJ’s stomach feel warm, despite everything else that feels weird about this conversation. Dallas pops back out, sweeping up and avoiding looking over at JJ. “Mm, I’m flattered.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm. So. I’m checking up on you,” Arcade says. “How are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ laughs quietly and smiles to himself. He pushes himself up from the counter and turns to finish cleaning up behind the counter so he wasn’t totally slacking off. “I’m fine,” he says. “Y’know. Closing at work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry again,” Arcade mumbles.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ snorts in response. “It’s fine, again,” he says. He turns a bag of coffee grounds in his hands, before putting it away. “How are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, y’know,” he says softly. “Exhausted from traveling. I was only gone for a couple of weeks, but I already forgot how much I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span> the traffic in California.” JJ laughs at that, when there’s muffled voices in the background. “Guys, c’mon-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Gannon! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Are you- Are you on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>phone-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you have friends over?” JJ asks, making a face as he restocks cups.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s muffled rustling and noise, before Arcade sighs heavily into the phone. “Sorry, my friends came back to California with me. Uh, the ones I had been visiting in Utah. They’re being obnoxious.” There’s more noise behind him, before he grumbles quietly to himself. “Uh, okay, I think I’m going to go-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s okay!” JJ says quickly. Dallas reappears in front of him, holding his coat and backpack, hat pulled low over his hair. He still doesn’t look at JJ, eyes glued to his phone. JJ finishes tidying up and heads to the back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But, uh…” Arcade trails off, sounding nervous, then laughs quietly. “I’ll… text you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah…” JJ pulls his things from his locker, taking his phone out of his pocket. “Yeah, that sounds good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cool.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, uh.” There’s rustling, before Arcade clears his throat awkwardly. “Bye, JJ. Talk to you soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ smiles to himself, heart fluttering. “Bye Arcade, talk to you soon.” He hits end on the call, standing there for a moment in peaceful, ignorant bliss, before he puts his coat on and walks back out to where Dallas is waiting. “Sorry-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No worries,” Dallas says quickly, not looking up, spinning his keys on his finger. “Ready to go?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” JJ says, suddenly feeling really off-kilter at his tone as they step outside. “Uh, hey, what was it that you were going to tell me earlier?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas locks the door behind them, making sure to see the lights shut off and the alarm kick on. “Hm? Oh, I don’t know, I forgot,” he mumbles. He still won’t look at JJ. “C’mon, it’s pretty cold and I’m exhausted.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ hesitates as Dallas walks down the sidewalk a bit toward his car. Part of him thinks he should push it, part of him wants him to drop it, because Dallas isn’t acting himself, and he doesn’t want to get yelled at in the middle of the street over something that might amount to nothing. He stares for another moment, before shoving the desire to ask again down low, following him. “Yeah, sure, of course.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car ride is silent. Dallas barely mumbles a goodbye when he drops JJ off at home, and drives off before JJ gets up to his door. He frowns, letting himself in and locking the door up. The house is silent around him, lights shut off and curtains drawn. JJ sighs, then takes his phone from his pocket when it vibrates, slipping out of his boots.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade :)=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[10:11pm] Hey it was fun talking to you for a bit earlier</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[10:11pm] It was just nice to hear your voice</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ leans against the door, letting his head fall back with a gentle </span>
  <em>
    <span>thump</span>
  </em>
  <span>, feeling that vague sense of dread once again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s considered a small blessing that JJ has the next day off. Everything that’s been happening within the last few days have felt like a never ending rollercoaster, but instead of leaving him nauseous and on the verge of tears, it really just felt like someone had come into his room and moved every piece of furniture to the left by two inches - but </span>
  <em>
    <span>mentally</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He had texted Dallas last night before he fell asleep around eleven - a simple message reiterating that Dallas could always come to him with problems - and the message’s had an annoying grey </span>
  <em>
    <span>“read”</span>
  </em>
  <span> in the bottom since midnight. Part of him feels like something’s wedging itself between him and his best friend, but the other part of him doesn’t want to face the facts right now - that </span>
  <em>
    <span>JJ </span>
  </em>
  <span>might be what’s wedging between them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>tries</span>
  </em>
  <span> to ignore the chaos his brain has descended into, though. His mom’s working a late shift later in the evening, which leaves the entire morning and afternoon free for them. It’s been ages since JJ’s been able to properly spend time with Rebecca where errands and chores weren’t involved, so for her to take one long look at him sulking on the couch just staring at his phone after their morning coffee and decide that they need to get brunch down in town feels like a true Godsend. He’ll try to offer up a prayer of thanks later, if he remembers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over Easy is their second favorite breakfast place - right after the Two Sugars diner, of course - and just the suggestion of getting to unload some of his mental turmoil to his mom over a plate of waffles and hash browns makes his shoulders feel like a weight’s been lifted off them They take a seat at their favorite booth and both order coffee and their food, and as soon as the waitress is done fetching two mugs and a freshly brewed pot of coffee for them, Rebecca turns to JJ, her Stern Motherly Gaze burrowing holes into his skull. “What in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>world</span>
  </em>
  <span> is bothering you, Joey? You’ve had a little storm cloud following you around since that guy you went on a date with left.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ dumps cream into his mug, stirring intently and refusing to make eye contact. His mom </span>
  <em>
    <span>might</span>
  </em>
  <span> be one of his closest confidants - he’d even like to say she’s the only person he’d put above Dallas as being his best friend - but when she pulls her Mother Mode, it makes him feel like a little kid getting scolded at church for making too much noise. He absently chews on his thumb nail, glancing up at her. “Well…” he starts quietly. Rebecca just stares at him expectedly. “Shit keeps hitting the fan.” She wrinkles her nose at the language. “Sorry. It’s just... Chris and Vincent got into a big fight over the weekend, and I’m accidentally in the middle of </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so it’s been… stressful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chris and Vincent are </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> arguing about something,” she points out. He flinches a little at her honesty - and that she’s seeing right through his bullshit. “What’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>going on, sweetie?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stares down at his coffee - a beige-colored muddy reflection of himself stares back up at him. “Dallas and Joshua are having problems with their parents again,” he tells her quietly, and looks up to see her face fall and shoulders slump. Those two were her sons just as much as he was, as far as she was concerned. “I mean. They’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>been</span>
  </em>
  <span> having problems with them, for years. But Joshua had to go see their lawyers again last week…” He stares at the mirror his coffee’s created for a moment, then sighs sadly. “And I only know this because </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dani</span>
  </em>
  <span> told me. Dallas hasn’t told me about anything yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, Joey…” Rebecca sighs, full of empathy and concern. “You know he probably doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean</span>
  </em>
  <span> to keep things from you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yeah, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> he doesn’t mean to,” JJ says, taking a long sip of his coffee. “But it still sucks that he hasn’t told me. I mean… I’m his best friend. I figured he would.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rebecca hums. The waitress comes by before she can answer, delivering them their plates of food, then hurries off to help another table. “Just give him time, JJ,” she tells him softly. “That boy trusts you more than anything else in his life, aside from his brother. He’s not keeping things from you. I’m sure he’s just struggling with it. It’s not an easy thing that him and Joshua are doing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ takes a bite of his waffles, staring pointedly at the pastel geometric wallpaper. “Yeah…” he mumbles absently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They eat their food in relative silence for the rest of their time there. JJ pays for their bill on the way out and they head back home - no errands or places to be for now. He lets his head fall onto the window, sighing quietly and closing his eyes for a moment. His mom fiddles with the radio, before falling onto some news station.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“- Now for an update on a story we were reporting on a couple of weeks ago! There was that bank robbery off of the highway back on the 30th, where the culprits were never caught, right? Well, according to federal and local authorities, they have reason to believe that the suspects </span>
  </em>
  <span>might</span>
  <em>
    <span> have fled to California, given a string of robberies that have happened there over the last couple of years that match what happened here-”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Rebecca hums. JJ opens his eyes and looks over her. “I heard about this…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?” JJ asks. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> needed to get caught up with local news and current events - he hadn’t heard a word about this at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His mom comes to a stop at a red light, smiling over at JJ. “Yeah. It happened that day you were out on that date. Really glad we were both home before all that happened. Hannah said her sister was stuck in traffic off Main for hours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ watches his mom’s face for a moment, before turning his head to stare out the window, watching the snow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Huh,’</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks absently, squishing his cheek against his fist. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘What a weird coincidence.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ comes into work at Nash’s Friday, and immediately gets handed the keys for the old Ford pick-up that doubles as their delivery truck. It’s one of the rare days where the storefront is closed, but they’re still working on delivery orders in the back, and with both Raegan and Vincent working on packaging and processing, JJ was stuck with the unenviable delivery job.  Christmas is sneaking up scary quick, so he can only imagine the workload that’s waiting for him. He takes the keys with a frown, and Nash claps him on the shoulder with a grin. “Appreciate it a lot, JJ.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gets back from his first drop off, sighing as he starts to gather up a pile of boxes in the backroom. Vincent and Raegan have been scarily silent in the few moments when JJ </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> seen them, but just as he’s coming back for the last stack of boxes, he hears Vincent’s worn, exhausted sigh. “Raegan will you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have nothing to fucking say to you.” Raegan’s chilly, clipped reply makes JJ stop, hovering just outside the door frame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t just avoid me forever, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>living</span>
  </em>
  <span> with you right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a noise, like something heavy has been dropped on one of the tables. “No, you’re living with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jess</span>
  </em>
  <span>, who’s far more patient and understanding than I am,” Raegan says, raising her voice slightly. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> want me to talk to you right now, Vince? Alright, I’ll fucking talk. Your sister might not want to get into this with you, but I’m not scared to tell you that you’re fucking up one of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>best</span>
  </em>
  <span> things in your fucking life by doing this hairbrained bullshit. Chris doesn’t deserve your backstabbing, lying shit, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> might think he was being irrational last night, but I think he finally said what you deserved to hear. Because you’re a brainless, self-absorded fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>prick</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Watts.  So </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>talked</span>
  </em>
  <span> to you, hope you’re fucking happy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raegan comes storming out of the room a second later, fists clenched at her sides, and she pushes past JJ to go back to the employee break room, slamming the door behind her. JJ stands there awkwardly, holding a single package in his arms. He sets it down on the pile next to him and peaks around the door frame to see Vincent leaning back against one of the desks, hands over his face as his shoulders tremble. “Vincent?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You heard that?” Vincent says, moving his hands away and running one through to try and smooth his hair down. He lets out a bitter, humorless laugh. “What am I saying, I’m sure the church next door heard that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What… uh...” JJ says softly, false starting, not sure what to say, really. There’s a low, uncomfortable coil in his stomach. “What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vincent’s only twenty six, but he looks so much older for a moment, with dark circles under his eyes, his hair a dull mess, gaze a thousand yards away. He worries his lip between his teeth, then lets out a shaky sigh that borders on the trembling that comes before crying. “Chris came by last night,” he says quietly. “He basically brought the rest of my clothes out of the closet in boxes, and told me that we needed to take a break.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told him his reaction to what I did was irrational, and… well… Raegan obviously didn’t take </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> well.” Vincent crosses his arms, staring at the floor. “Chris didn’t either. He told me not to contact him until I was ready to </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> apologize, and then left.” They fall into silence. JJ stares at Vincent as he clenches and unclenches his jaw, blinking rapidly to keep back tears. “I really fucked up, JJ,” he says quietly. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> fucked all of this up…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Vincent,” JJ says softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vincent stands up straight, sniffling a little and rubs his fist roughly against his eyes. “Can… Can I just be alone, please? I know you’re doing deliveries today. And I doubt Raegan’s coming back in here until she cools off. I think I need the time alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course.” JJ awkwardly picks at a hangnail on his thumb. “I’ll let you be.” Vincent turns away from him, shoulder shaking a little and JJ steps out of the room, gathering up the packages to take out to the truck. He sighs into the cold Utah night air, setting the boxes into the backseat and taking his phone out when it dings in his pocket.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=The Better Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[8:13pm] hey can we hang out tomorrow and talk?</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[8:13pm] ill pick you up at 10 and we can get breakfast at two sugars</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>JJ stares at the message, a coil of dread making a home deep in the bottom of his gut, and he hesitates on responding. This feels like an omen, like the dark storm clouds building on the horizon, and that every other thing that’s been going wrong lately has been culminating to this. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why</span>
  </em>
  <span> did it feel like that though? And why did he feel like if he responded to Dallas now, that it’d only lead to worse down the line? He swallows the anxiety building in his chest, and types out an answer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>[8:15pm] Yeah, of course, sounds good.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry this chapter might have felt like trudging through mud, but theres still important things happening in this one and the next one that might seem slow but are important for later plot points, i promise!!!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>dallas graham belongs to my <a href="https://twitter.com/danasaurusr">best friend!</a><br/>all other ocs are mine<br/>beta'd by my friend <a href="https://twitter.com/ambsthom">amber!</a></p>
<p>[<a href="https://twitter.com/milessqueak">main twitter</a>] [<a href="https://twitter.com/c0uriers1x">fallout twitter</a>]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. habere paulo compassio</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>[<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S4fS8thoPo">Song For This Chapter</a>] Translates to "Have a Little Sympathy"</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dallas is waiting out front of the house at ten on the dot. JJ locks up the front door and heads down the walk way, trying to avoid patches of ice on the concrete, and slides into the passenger side of Dallas’s car. There’s a weird tension in the air, and Dallas’s eyes are straight ahead at the road, fingers tapping off-beat on his steering wheel. He doesn’t look like he’s slept well, his face unshaven, and JJ can tell he’s been crying - over two decades of friendship make it painfully obvious that something is </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> wrong. “Hey, Dal.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Dallas says quietly, reaching over to turn the radio on. He pointedly doesn’t look at JJ as he does. “Let’s go get breakfast.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their drive to Two Sugars is uncomfortably silent. JJ spends the entire time staring out the window at the snow falling, while the radio fills in the gap between them. Dallas doesn’t make a single effort to speak to him, even when they pull up to park in front of the diner, and get out to go inside. JJ feels a tight spiral of discomfort at the bottom of his gut and a wave of deja vu as they take their seats at their usual booth. They both order coffee, and fall back into silence when the waitress heads off to take another table’s order. JJ pours a packet of sugar into his mug, then folds up the paper packaging until he can’t fold it anymore. He doesn’t really know what to say, or why Dallas asked him to come out to breakfast in the first place - especially after how </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird</span>
  </em>
  <span> he had acted the other night at work. This entire situation is weird. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> lately has been weird.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The waitress comes back by and takes their food orders. Dallas still just stares at the table top, and the small etching of their names in the wood that they left back in high school, then glances up at JJ, looking decades older. “Joshua and I have a court date Friday.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s got his mug lifted halfway to his mouth and he freezes, staring at Dallas wide eyed. He thinks of when Joshua came in that night to close the shop, in a dress shirt and nice slacks, and him and Dallas disappearing back into the office - Dani, telling him what Dallas wouldn’t. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is that when they knew? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas stirs some more cream into his coffee, shrugging. “Our parents don’t want to settle anything with just lawyers... So we’ve run out of options. We’ve got to take it to court, to hopefully get this resolved and fucking done with.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“God, Dallas,” JJ breathes. His best friend still doesn’t look at him. “Does that mean you’ll have to see your parents again?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Dallas flinches, like JJ’s physically hit him. Joshua had been dealing with all the in-person lawyer meetings with their parents since all this began - Dallas hadn’t actually seen his parents since he was sixteen - when he ran away from home in Ogden to go live with his brother in Salt Lake City. Even when they moved back a couple of years later, they got an apartment on the opposite end of town to minimize the chances of seeing them. “Yeah, it does,” he says quietly. “I can’t get out of it this time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been </span>
  <em>
    <span>nine years</span>
  </em>
  <span>-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m aware, JJ,” Dallas snaps, then takes a long drink of his coffee. “It sucks but I don’t have a choice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ watches him as his eyes start welling with tears, then as he rubs at his face with his sleeve roughly. “I’m sorry, Dal…” he says softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their food is delivered to their table without much fanfare, and their server heads off again. Dallas quietly starts to nibble on a strip of bacon, avoiding JJ’s eyes. “Yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that, Dallas does lift his eyes, staring right at JJ and snorting bitterly. There’s a flash of disappointment and anger in his brown eyes, before it's gone and he’s looking down at his coffee again. “I tried, the other night at work.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>When Arcade called. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“No offense, but you haven’t exactly been the most available lately.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ shifts. “What… do you mean by that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve been really preoccupied and tied up with Arcade, so I didn’t want to interrupt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ falls silent as Dallas eats his breakfast, then wrinkles his nose. “Dallas, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> available for you. All you have to do is say something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas looks up at him like he’s sprouted a second head. “Wait, are you being </span>
  <em>
    <span>serious</span>
  </em>
  <span> right now? Like you’re not being sarcastic?” he asks, then huffs a soft laugh. “No, no, you know what, JJ, I don’t want to talk about this right now, alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dallas-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Drop it, Joey.” His tone borders on cold. “I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> having this conversation with you right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They fall into tense silence and JJ just stares at him as they do. They only end up eating about half their food by the time Dallas pays the bill and motions for them to leave to head back home - it kind of feels like a crime, but after their small disagreement, it seems like both of them had lost their appetites. The ride back to JJ’s is more uncomfortable than the ride to the diner in the first place. Dallas’s knuckles are almost white as he grips his steering wheel. “I just need you to be my best friend right now, JJ,” he says, as they pull up to the curb in front of JJ’s house. “This entire thing has fucking sucked, and it hasn’t helped that you’ve been kinda distant and super occupied with some random dude from California-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> told me to go after him-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah! I fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> JJ!” Dallas yells, fists trembling on the wheel. “But just because I told you to go after a guy that you liked, doesn’t mean I wanted you to completely pull away from me!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ wrinkles his nose. “I’m sorry, Dallas, I didn’t mean to-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Dallas lets out a groan of frustration. “Oh my fucking god- Just because you didn’t meant to, doesn’t mean that you didn’t do it!” he says, then turns to JJ - he’s got tears in his eyes and he sniffles. “Y’know, just - Just go, alright? I’ll talk to you later.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Goodbye, </span>
  </em>
  <span>JJ.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ pulls back with a flinch and gets out of the car without another word. There’s a low, deep guilt swirling in his stomach as he walks up to the front door without looking back, even when he hears Dallas pull away from the curb and drive away, and he sighs, letting himself into the house. He shuts the door and locks it behind himself, sliding down to sit and putting his hands over his face.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>=The Better Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[12:29pm] I’m sorry for earlier, Dal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[12:30pm] I really am.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[read 12:31pm]</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> know why Joshua had me take Dallas’s shifts for this week like two weeks back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ stands at the counter, staring down at the handful of texts he’s sent Saturday, but looks up at Lily, standing in front of him with her arms crossed and tapping her foot impatiently, mouth drawn into a deep frown. Dallas had been out yesterday, too - Dani sent in as his replacement - and JJ didn’t have to ask to know why. “Um-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Joshua won’t tell me why, but you’re like. Attached to Graham’s hip. So what’s goin’ on?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> attached to Dallas’s hip-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Do not </span>
  </em>
  <span>lie to my face, Joey Peterson,” Lily threatens, and although JJ has a solid two inches on her, she manages to still feel like she’s looming as she gets in his space. Her mild anger seems to flare, because her words are coated with that Texan drawl she tries to hide. “Just tell me what’s going on with Dallas, since everyone else is keepin’ me in the dark.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lily’s staring at him, waiting for an answer, and JJ just shrugs a little, slightly nervous - </span>
  <em>
    <span>technically, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he knows this is because of the court date at the end of the week, but he gets a sinking feeling that Dallas is using it to avoid him, too. And Lily might be intimidating, when she has to be, but JJ’s not going to talk about business that isn’t his to talk about - if Joshua didn’t tell Lily why, he probably didn’t want her to know. “I dunno,” he manages to choke out. “Him and Joshua are both out this week, so… Family thing, I guess?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t look pleased by the answer, but rolls her eyes, taking a step back from him. “Fine,” she mumbles, then goes off to clean up the shelves filled with bags of coffee and souvenirs. JJ watches her, and sighs, looking back down at his phone and typing out another message to Dallas.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>=The Better Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[4:14pm] Can we please talk this out, Dal? At some point?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[4:14pm] I’m still really sorry</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[read 4:15pm] </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ lets out a noise of frustration. It wasn’t even that Dallas was </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span> - JJ </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> been a shitty best friend for the past few weeks, especially since Arcade had left to go back to California, but really, it wasn’t that he meant to be. That wasn’t any excuse, he knew it wasn’t, but it was the truth. He was totally caught up in his kinda-sorta-maybe lovelife, and all that was happening with his mom, and with Chris and Vincent, that things were starting to slip through the metaphorical cracks in his brain, and Dallas had been an unfortunate side effect of that. JJ felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible</span>
  </em>
  <span> for it. Dallas needed him the most right now, and he was just completely blowing him off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, didn’t know you were workin’ today.” Lily’s voice pulls him from his thoughts. JJ looks up from his phone and sees Dani walk in, her hair tucked up underneath a warm looking beanie. He squints, and glances back to the monthly dry erase calendar where they usually write their schedules on - Dani is absent for today. “What’s goin’ on?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Joshua asked me last night to come in,” Dani says simply, stomping snow from her boots at the mat, before crossing to come behind the counter. She eyes them both for a moment, lingering her curious look on JJ for just a beat longer, before she smiles. “Would you rather me go home?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Lily huffs, and she’s got her phone in her hand the next minute. “You’re more fun to talk to than JJ.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s also supposed to leave in a little bit, and we’re just soooo busy,” Lily says sarcastically, before disappearing into the back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Dani asks, ignoring Lily’s jab and snark. JJ feels like it might have been unnecessary, because Dani’s got that twinkle in her eyes that tells him that she probably already </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> in some form or fashion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ glances toward the back, where he can hear Lily moving things around without any caution. “Dallas and I… had an argument,” he says quietly. “The other day. And he’s been ignoring me since.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani’s face falls a little, but not enough to warrant JJ feeling like this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>news</span>
  </em>
  <span> to her. He wonders briefly if Joshua had told her how Dallas had been acting since Saturday, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>really why Dani was here. “Oh,” she says softly. “What happened?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We went to breakfast,” he tells her. “And he told me about some more legal trouble, and then… I don’t know. I haven’t been the best friend to him lately. I don’t blame him for being mad. But I wish he’d talk to me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lily comes back out of the back, bundled in her thick coat and holding an armful of flattened boxes, before she slips out the backdoor. “Maybe you need to go over and apologize to him,” she tells him softly, watching him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve tried that. He won’t answer my texts.” Or his calls, but he thinks that goes unsaid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dani hums, starting to finally shed her outer winter layers. “Well. Maybe you just need to make it up to him, then,” she says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world, and then smiles at him. “There’s no JJ without Dallas, and no Dallas without JJ. Don’t overthink it. It’ll be alright in the end.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding as Dani heads back toward the back, then reappears another moment later, her apron tied around her waist. “Thanks, Dani,” he says to her and she just smiles. He gathers his thing from his locker without an argument when Lily comes back raving about how it was time for him to clock out, and then starts to head out, keys to his mom’s car jingling as he pulls them from his pocket. He pushes the door open and calls his goodbyes as he does, slipping out into the cold Utah air and checking his phone. Nothing from Dallas, but his stomach swoops as he looks down at a text from Arcade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade :)=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[4:37pm] Hey, just a heads up? Sorry if I totally go off the grid for the next few days</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[4:38pm] Friends planned a camping trip up north a little, and cell reception is gonna be spotty</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[4:38pm] Promise I’ll get ahold of you when I’m in town again? Should be before New Year’s, for sure.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something forms in the pit of his stomach, chanting about guilt and disappointment, but he pushes it aside, texting back quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:14pm] Hey, no problem! I’ll talk to you when I talk to you. Hope you have fun camping. Try not to get eaten by bears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:14pm] That’s a fear I didn’t know I had until just now, so thanks</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:15pm] But I’ll do my best to stay in one piece</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[6:16pm] Please and thank you! I don’t know if I’m into the just-mauled-by-a-bear look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:16pm] Huh, so dating the Multi-Piece Man isn’t your style?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ’s heart gets lodged in his throat at the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>date</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he tosses his phone into the passenger side without looking at the follow up text that buzzes through a second later. He did so </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> have the mental capacity to deal with that </span>
  <em>
    <span>right now</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He needed dinner, and a shower, and an hour just laying in bed becoming one with the universe to sort through what that even </span>
  <em>
    <span>implied</span>
  </em>
  <span>. JJ barely fights back the urge to slam his head into the steering wheel out of pure frustration, before he starts the car and heads toward home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The house is dark when he steps inside, but there’s a note left on the leftovers from last night, telling him that his mom would be home late again. His phone buzzes in his back pocket to remind him that he’s avoiding an issue he needs to face, and opts to warm his dinner up and eat it in nervous silence instead. One long, warm, disassociating shower later, he’s laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling and holding his phone tight in both hands. What else could </span>
  <em>
    <span>possibly</span>
  </em>
  <span> happen to him right now in his life? What </span>
  <em>
    <span>else</span>
  </em>
  <span> was going to get piled onto his to-do list? First Chris and Vincent and all their mess, then Dallas and Joshua with their legal problems, </span>
  <em>
    <span>then</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dallas and their not-quite-a-fight argument over the weekend. And now, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ pulls a brave face, and slides to unlock his phone without reading any preview messages on his lock screen. It pulls up the messages from earlier, and Arcade’s left </span>
  <em>
    <span>five</span>
  </em>
  <span> since.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>=Arcade :)=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:16pm] Well. I mean. I think I’m assuming by using the word date.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:24pm] I mean we did go out on a few dates, but I shouldn’t assume that we’re dating, just because we went on dates.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:37pm] Those terms aren’t mutually exclusive, and y’know. That’s a conversation the both of us should probably have, before I jump to conclusions</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:43pm] And just judging by your silence, I really hope I didn’t totally just mess up whatever chance I ever would have had.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[6:50pm] Sorry, I managed to nervously ramble through text. I’m full of surprises.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ pulls at a piece of loose plastic on his case, before he starts typing, heart lurching up into his throat again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>[7:01pm] Wow, hey, I was coming back from work and getting ready to settle down for the night, sorry for leaving you to ramble like that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[7:01pm] No problem, just ignore me. I’m really good at just rambling off nonsense, when you really get to know me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[7:02pm] I have an idea now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[7:02pm] But, maybe we should have this conversation later? After your trip?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[7:03pm] I have a ridiculously embarrassing amount of shit going on right now, and I should probably allot as much mental capacity to this as I can.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[7:03pm] Hope that doesn’t come off as horrifically rude, oops</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[7:03pm] No, that’s totally fair, JJ, I totally understand.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>[7:04pm] We can talk about this after my trip.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ sighs, and agrees, before their conversation lulls to a stop. He flops back on his bed, staring at his ceiling, and feels a wave of exhaustion, even though it’s only seven. There was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>too much</span>
  </em>
  <span> going on right now in his life, suddenly, like an overwhelming wave at the shore that knocks him off his feet. Where was all this turmoil even leading? Was he supposed to be learning a lesson, or walking away from this knowing something new? It all just felt like pointless grief, and it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>exhausting</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ pulls one of his pillows out and presses it over his face, closing his eyes and almost immediately falling asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>After two more days of Dallas not showing up for work, JJ decides the only way he’s going to solve this is if he heads over to the Grahams’ apartment to talk this out. His mom drops him off at the complex, before she heads to work, and JJ stands there at the front of their building for a moment, fidgeting with the end of his scarf, before he heads up to their door. For once, it’s not so horrifically cold that he feels like he needs to warm up immediately, but there are dark clouds hanging on the horizon and gathering over the mountains, that it gives JJ another weird swoop of deja vu that’s starting to feel more like an omen. There’s a low rumble of thunder in the distance as he steps up to Dallas’s door, then knocks, stepping back a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hold on!” Comes Dallas’s voice, louder than what it should be while he’s inside, before the door opens, and his confused expression turns to surprise immediately. “JJ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ fidgets with his scarf again, offering his best friend a small, nervous smile. “Hey, Dal,” he says quietly. “Um. C-Can we talk?” he asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas seems to hesitate, hand still holding the doorknob tight, before he wrinkles his nose and steps back. “Yeah, sure. Come in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Behind JJ, there’s another clap of thunder, and then the sound of rain starting to fall. He steps inside the apartment, and Dallas locks the door up once he does. JJ stands awkwardly in the middle of the living room - he’s been here thousands of times, but he feels insecure and self-conscious suddenly. There’s a half-eaten bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, and some video game paused on the TV screen, but the rest of the apartment is silent. “Um. Is Joshua here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“With the lawyers,” Dallas says, then leans against Joshua’s armchair, arms crossed. He doesn’t look like a terrible mess like he did Saturday morning, which is a small miracle, considering their court date was in two days.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ nods, then unwraps his scarf from around his neck. “Right,” he mumbles. “I… I came over because you haven’t answered my texts for four days…” Dallas just stares at him. “And… well. I wanted to apologize. I know you’ve needed me a lot recently, and I just wasn’t there for you like I should have been. You really do have every right to be mad, because there was no excuse for me being so self-absorbed, so… I’m just… I’m sorry, Dallas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas shifts - almost nervously - and then looks down, moving a hand to rub the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, too, JJ. For blowing up at you like that. I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” he told him softly. “I didn’t sleep that great the night before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I could tell. You looked like shit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas snorts, and then rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Is this how you apologize to everyone, or is that specifically a thing for me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ grins. “That’s all for you, Graham.” Dallas laughs, uncrossing his arms. JJ feel like something slots back into place, and he smiles wide. “Are we good?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude,” Dallas says, grinning at him and offering him his fist. “We’re always good. Who else is going to get me through the puzzles in Resident Evil?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ laughs, and bumps his knuckles against Dallas’s. “Joshua?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> Joshua doesn’t have patience for that shit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ shrugs, and Dallas just rolls his eyes. “How are you two, by the way?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas hums quietly. “Y’know. Joshua’s on edge. If I think about it too hard, I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack,” he says, looking at JJ. “But… we’ve been worse. I think the relief of knowing this could be the end is helping.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s gotta be a relief,” JJ says. “When will you be back at work? I think Lily’s about to pull her hair out if she has to work with your brother anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That gets him another soft snort from his best friend. “I’ll be back Monday,” he says, grinning. “So tell her not to kill him, yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ laughs, then pulls his phone out when it starts vibrating with a call, looking at the screen. Mom? “Uh, hang on, my mom’s calling.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course, dude.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ swipes to answer it, putting it up to his ear. “Hey mom, what’s up?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“JJ?” The voice on the other end is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rebecca, and JJ wracks his brain before he realizes it's Angela, one of the girls his mom works with. A solid mass of dread hits the pit of his stomach. “Hey, it’s Angie, uh-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with my mom?” he asks, and Dallas straightens up, eyes wide. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Angie hesitates for a moment on the other end, and there’s a mild commotion in the background. “She passed out,” she says, voice coated in panic. JJ grips his shirt over his heart, trying to control his breathing so he didn’t start hyperventilating. “We called an ambulance, and one’s going to be here soon but-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Text me the hospital,” JJ says, his voice starting to wobble. Dallas disappears out of the corner of his eye, then he hears the jingling of his keys, and he reappears, pulling his coat on. “I’ll be there soon.”</span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay,” is all Angie breathes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ hangs up, hands shaking. “Dal-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“C’mon,” Dallas says, grabbing JJ’s arm and guiding him toward the door. JJ’s phone dings with a text - the address to the hospital. “I’ll drive you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She passed out-” JJ says uselessly, and he’s breathing heavily as they made their way to Dallas’s car, the rain soaking through his coat. “That’s all I have-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dallas throws open his door and gets in without another word. JJ spends the entire drive trying to level his breathing, thoughts a mile a minute of what </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> have happened and everything that could have been wrong with his mom. He fidgets with his phone, tears filling with tears as he tries to suck in air through his panic. “She’ll be okay, JJ,” Dallas says quietly. JJ sniffs and wipes his face with his sleeve. In the distance, there’s a loud rumble of thunder while JJ realizes all the bad things that had been happening lately had to have been leading to this,and he sobs into his hands. ”She’ll be okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>=The Better Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[5:05pm] Still at the hospital</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[5:05pm] Thanks again for driving me earlier</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[5:06pm] dont mention it jj, thanks for the updates</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[5:06pm] call me when yall are settled at home, okay?</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[5:06pm] and if you need anything dont hesitate to let joshua and i know</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[5:07pm] Of course, Dal. Thanks again &lt;3</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>[5:08pm] &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <b>=The Other Graham Sibling=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>[8:12pm] Hey, JJ, if you need anything at all, let me know, alright?</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>[8:12pm] Rebecca is family to us, too, and we’ll help however we’re needed</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>[8:13pm] Thanks Joshua, I will.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥➳♥</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it was just exhaustion and dehydration,” JJ says into the phone pressed between his ear and his shoulder, as he stands against the kitchen counter, sipping his coffee slowly. It’s almost noon, but he can feel the exhaustion from barely sleeping the night before behind his eyes, and he had work later. Rebecca had finally gotten discharged from the hospital late last night, with nothing more than some well-needed rest and fluids given to her, and doctor’s orders to take at least the next week or two off from work. It was a relief, knowing that there wasn’t anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>seriously</span>
  </em>
  <span> wrong with her this time, but JJ hadn’t even dared to look at the itemized bill the secretary had regretfully given him before they had left. Everytime he thought about it, he wanted to throw up. He fights back the acidic feeling in this throat with a long drink from his mug. “She’s resting right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hears Dallas sigh on the other end of the phone. In the background, he can hear his brother also on the phone, but he’s not close enough to really make out anything that he’s saying. “That’s a relief,” Dallas says softly. “Uh. How much was it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ winces and glances at the papers sitting on their kitchen table, turned facedown, where they had been since they got home at nearly midnight. “I don’t know,” he mumbles honestly, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “I haven’t looked at it. After that couple of years, where she was constantly in and out of the hospital, I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I get it,” Dallas says, interrupting him - but JJ isn’t annoyed or even offended. He knows he has to look at some point - it has to be paid, and the sooner the better, so neither him nor his mom get in any trouble. JJ sets his mug down and takes a step toward the table, a pang of anxiety in his throat. “If you need anything, JJ - and really, we do mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> - please let Joshua and I know. We’re family, too. And we’ve got your back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ hesitates on the bill, then hears a tone over the call - an incoming text. “No, no, I know, Dallas, don’t worry,” he says, and hears the tone again. He pulls his hand back from the paper, and lets out a soft sigh. “Um. I’ll call you back a bit later, okay? I should get my mom up for lunch, and I want to try to get a nap in before my shift tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll still take it for you, if you want,” Dallas offers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ chews on his lip again, and tastes a tang of copper. “I know. But you have court tomorrow, Dal. I’ll be alright.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright…” His best friend trails off quietly, then hums. “Well. I’ll talk to you later, JJ. I’ll swing by your house around dinner to check on your mom.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” JJ says quietly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t mention it. Love you, dude.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Love you, too, Dallas.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They hang up, and JJ pulls his phone back, opening his messages as he turns the paper over on the table. He doesn’t look at much past the four digit number starting with a six, before he slumps into a chair, dropping his phone onto the table. He was going to run his account </span>
  <em>
    <span>dry</span>
  </em>
  <span> paying this off. He finally looks away with a knot in his throat, opening and reading the texts on his phone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>=Unsaved Number=</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>[12:16pm] Hey, JJ, its your dad. Hope you’ve been doing well.</b>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>[12:16pm] Just wanted to see if you wanted to get together for Christmas this year. Just let me know.</b>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>JJ stares down at them for a moment, eyes darting between his dad’s messages and the bill sitting inches away, before putting his head in his hands, letting out a frustrated sob.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>dallas graham belongs to my <a href="https://twitter.com/danasaurusr">best friend!</a><br/>all other ocs are mine<br/>beta'd by my friend <a href="https://twitter.com/ambsthom">amber!</a></p>
<p>[<a href="https://twitter.com/milessqueak">main twitter</a>] [<a href="https://twitter.com/c0uriers1x">fallout twitter</a>]</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is a revamped idea ive already used for a fic i started writing back in 2016, but better than before. the title of the fic, and all the chapter titles going forward are dean martin songs/lyrics, just in latin. ill provide a link to the song and the translation in the description of the beginning</p>
<p>dallas graham belongs to my <a href="https://twitter.com/danasaurusr">best friend!</a><br/>all other ocs are mine<br/>beta'd by my friend <a href="https://twitter.com/ambsthom">amber!</a></p>
<p>[<a href="https://twitter.com/milessqueak">main twitter</a>] [<a href="https://twitter.com/c0uriers1x">fallout twitter</a>]</p></blockquote></div></div>
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